Performance Review

  CONFIDENTIAL FILE NOTE Staff Member:     CEO Subject:                 Performance Review Date:                      Tuesday, 2 March 2004   During KRP discussions today, J conceded that his performance of normal duties was not satisfactory and that delays in Newsletter production and failure to complete various tasks requested of him, … Continue reading Performance Review

On the wagon, off the wagon, burn the bloody wagon.

J’s Diary Entry 26 May 2003 Jesus Christ, I really didn’t know I could get so miserable. Have started seeing a shrink again. He’s put me on Citalopram. I started at 20mg a day but am on 30mg now. He wants me to go up to 40 or 60mg. Is kind of scary – side effects are bad. Anxiety, nausea and trembling. Does distract me … Continue reading On the wagon, off the wagon, burn the bloody wagon.

Hop-scotching through sheep carcasses.

J’s Diary Entry 27 March 2003 Desire to live not increasing. Am spending more and more time at the cinema. Saw “Cradle to the Grave” tonight. There were plenty of people killed for graves but nothing about cradles in there as far as I could tell. It was a chop-sockey shoot ’em up, and quite good as far as that goes. Still very depressed. Thought … Continue reading Hop-scotching through sheep carcasses.

Self Portrait of Self Hate.

  J’s Diary Entry 16 March 2003 Spent most of today in at work, desperately trying to catch up. Can’t seem to bring myself to do a single goddamn stroke of work while I’m there during the week.  Have been so depressed. I think I have been since November but I’ve been trying to ignore it. Naturally, it has now landed on me like a … Continue reading Self Portrait of Self Hate.

It’s a testament to the horror of his personality and personal hygiene that I do not feel bad about this.

J’s Diary Entry 10 March 2003 Kicked Ian out last week, mmm maybe it was end of week before. It was first thing in the morning. He was hanging out his washing. He didn’t take it well. Quietly furious, I’d call it. Said “Well I’m screwed,” a few times. Told him it was cos he never went out. He said “I go out quite a … Continue reading It’s a testament to the horror of his personality and personal hygiene that I do not feel bad about this.

Try explaining suicide to children.

From: S Date: Friday, September 06, 2002 09:00 To: J Subject: Oh J, Life just doesn’t get any more fucked up than this. Barry’s mother killed herself on Tuesday morning. It’s all so strange, I’m struggling to understand any of it. The phone rang just after 3am, phone is on Barry’s side of the bed, he answered it, groggy and said “Hello, Oh, Yes, I understand. Yes, ok.” and … Continue reading Try explaining suicide to children.

I’m drinking myself into both a stupor and a larger pants size.

J’s Diary Entry 17 December 2001 Another day wasted in front of the PlayStation. God I hate holidays – I just don’t know what to do with myself.  It’s beautiful weather but all I want to do is sit inside a dark room and drink beer.  Good God, I’ve drunk so much beer this last fortnight.  I must have gained three kilos. Can’t bring myself … Continue reading I’m drinking myself into both a stupor and a larger pants size.