I’m fostering a new bluntness, it seems to be working quite well.

J’s Diary Entry 27 January 2003 Joel is back in Melbourne! But sadly not for long. He’s only down for a week or two. He’s doing a Bachelor of Fine Arts at Sydney University and he’s just down here to tie up loose ends (sell his furniture and and so on) and visit people. I quite missed him, didn’t realise it until I saw him … Continue reading I’m fostering a new bluntness, it seems to be working quite well.

It sucks being a desk jockey with no real skills.

J’s Diary Entry 14 January 2003   Aw JEZUZ, back at work, wot hell! Went over to McKenzie’s for dinner on Monday night and made an ass of myself in front of Crazy Kel’s extremely attractive gay brother. I didn’t even realise he was gay, so I was my usual simpering, idiot self, telling unflattering stories and I wasn’t even drinking. Being back at work … Continue reading It sucks being a desk jockey with no real skills.

Wish I knew Shakespeare, this seems to be the right moment for a quote. 

J’s Diary Entry 11 January 2003 I rode to Leah’s in 15 minutes! I am a FUCKING athlete is wot I am, mate. I must get around and see Leah more often, she’s such good value. It’ll be damn weird if/when she has a kid/kids. I think even Jade is canvassing motherhood as an option! Where will I live? I don’t think I could share … Continue reading Wish I knew Shakespeare, this seems to be the right moment for a quote. 

She was quite attractive except for two missing teeth.

J’s Diary Entry 7 January 2003 Well, after last night’s contretemps with “The Turkey” I sure wasn’t hanging around to chat. I fled the house at 9.00am. Sat in the shade in Treasury Gardens and read my Micky Spillane novel (it’s crap) and gave some creepy chatty old guy the cold shoulder. Saw “Mainly Martha” at the Kino Cinema which reignited my enthusiasm to learn German … Continue reading She was quite attractive except for two missing teeth.

Shut your mouth you Goddamn rent dodging, rice eating turkey.

J’s Diary Entry 6 January 2003 After another day, chasing myself around the inner suburbs watching films, I came home, then ran out again (to Bunnings, for more, ever more DIY supplies). I arrived home late-ish. Jade was here, cooking a chicken stir fry. Ian The Turkey was in his room, as always. Jade and I went out after dinner to ‘Grandma Funks’ (UGH! That … Continue reading Shut your mouth you Goddamn rent dodging, rice eating turkey.

A turkey wears ear plugs?

—–Original Message—– From: J Sent: 08 November 2002 6:04  AM To: S                                   Subject: Oooh! You know what I REALLY do want? This thing called a “Spy Ear”.  It’s this tiny little thing that looks like a radio but it’s an amplifier and you can listen in on people 30 feet away. They’re cheap, and they’re all over the web but I can’t find anyone to … Continue reading A turkey wears ear plugs?

Full-body chemical skin peels and a home perm.

  From: J Sent: 25 October 2002  12:33AM To: S Subject: volcanic lovemaking powers…(Yawn.) S Hey, guess what? I have a date tonight, a hot date with Steven from Pooftas Anon. At a restaurant near his place. VERY near his place, heh heh heh. We’ve already had a bit of a pash –  had a date earlier this week.  No sex, but a bit of a … Continue reading Full-body chemical skin peels and a home perm.

I’d like to plop my brain into a fish bowl and place it on a window ledge somewhere.

  From: ‘J’ Date: 03 May 2001 12:37AM To: ‘S’ Subject: Transvestites and tranquillisers   Hey Sis. What’s up?  Me, I’m getting out more now that Paige’s moved out. Can’t just sit around and wait to be entertained, goddammit.  So I went to Fitzroy on the weekend, watched a sextagenarian transvestite with an ostrich feather in her hair do the mambo to a 60’s cover band whilst … Continue reading I’d like to plop my brain into a fish bowl and place it on a window ledge somewhere.

And as for the apples, well they got cooked right there on the tree.

27 January 1999 Dear S and Brady, Pop said to say thank you very much for the video “Fawlty Towers” we all enjoyed it very much, he had a nice birthday and he really enjoyed all the phone calls, was lovely to speak to you and Brady.  J has been up here to see us too, gee it was lovely to see him.  Pop is … Continue reading And as for the apples, well they got cooked right there on the tree.