Shut your mouth you Goddamn rent dodging, rice eating turkey.

J’s Diary Entry

6 January 2003

After another day, chasing myself around the inner suburbs watching films, I came home, then ran out again (to Bunnings, for more, ever more DIY supplies). I arrived home late-ish. Jade was here, cooking a chicken stir fry. Ian The Turkey was in his room, as always. Jade and I went out after dinner to ‘Grandma Funks’ (UGH! That NAME!) and bitched about Ian over a wine for Jade and a squash for me.

We came home and I said “Well, did everyone pay their rent today?” Bright and brittle. Jade hadn’t and either had Ian. I gave him the bank details after he tried to get me to deposit it for him. Then he said he was going to pay it in INSTALMENTS! I said No, the whole $448 is due TODAY, which seemed to puzzle him a bit. He said he’d talk to the real estate agency. I frowned. I went to wash the dishes. Then Jade asked him when he’d be putting his kitty money in. He said “Ah, bit of a problem there. I’m not going in the kitty.” He carried on a bit, said that he was opposed to the idea of communal living, to which Jade replied “Well that’s certainly not what you said at the interview, and if you had, you wouldn’t have moved in.” He said that it was “a matter of principle” and that he would have to move out and jumped to “I’ll start looking for somewhere else quickly”. I reckon that once he realised that we were on to the fact that he couldn’t pay rent, he made up his mind to move out. And PRAISE JESUS for that! I couldn’t stand it any longer. When he talks to me, all I can think is “shut up, shut up, SHUT UP, SHUT YOUR MOUTH, O JESUS STOP TALKING!” And that is err bad. It was getting to the point where I was getting aggressive, believe it or not.

Example: TV news is on, violence in Israel.

The Turkey:  Someone should just go over there and tell both sides that there is no God.

Me:  It’s not really about just religion, it’s about land.

The Turkey:  Yeah, but it’s the religion that is the basis…

Me:  It’s about land and who controls it. When Palestinian women have to give birth on the side of the road because Israeli soldiers don’t FEEL LIKE letting them through a check-point to a hospital in what USED TO BE Palestine, the Palestinians know it’s about land.

I banged on a bit more and he went off in a huff. Fuck him. Jade is a bit worried about finding someone else. I say let’s wait and the right person will turn up. I’m not advertising in the paper again, too many psychos.

He also said that he reckoned that Jade and I live extravagantly and the he’d be getting ripped off in the kitty cos we drink percolated coffee and he only eats BUTTERED RICE ONCE A DAY.  No kidding. His health must be appalling. He certainly looks and smells like death. It will be a relief to be rid of him!

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