J’s Diary Entry

11 January 2003

I rode to Leah’s in 15 minutes! I am a FUCKING athlete is wot I am, mate.

I must get around and see Leah more often, she’s such good value. It’ll be damn weird if/when she has a kid/kids. I think even Jade is canvassing motherhood as an option! Where will I live? I don’t think I could share a house with a child with all that noise and stink competing with my own quite terrifying noise and stink. Mind you share-housing in your 40’s is no fucking joke – it’s grim. But if I’m going to live with a screaming brat it may as well be mine. OH FUCK what am I THINKING?! No, no,no, I’ll just have to make lots – well, MORE – money and buy a place on my own. What morbid thoughts. Wish I knew Shakespeare, this seems to be the right moment for a quote. Who needs Shakey tho, when I’ve got the world’s greatest novelist in the very next room? I should go and rouse The Turkey from his PlayStation torpor and ask for advice, I’m sure he has an anecdote or two that would be helpful.

O Jesus, please don’t let me end up in one of those ‘sensitive’ US Movies of the Week situations where the poof helps raise his best friend’s bastards after the father evilly runs off, only to return with great repentance later and re-take his rightful place at the head of the family unit while I nobly move next door and become the cardigan-ed Uncle. Actually, I doubt that will ever happen. My friends have more sense than to involve me in rearing a child, ha ha!

J’s Diary Entry

12 January 2003

Jesus CHRIST, I knew this was going to happen. That stinking TURD Ian has withdrawn his notice to move out and is contributing to kitty! FUCK! and Jade’s gone all soft in the middle about it, doesn’t want to be “unfair”. Fuck that, he’s got to GO!

He called and left a message on the answerphone on Friday which Jade only half heard before it was erased. She thought it was just to say sorry but no! It was a fucking recantation! And I’ve already offered his room to Tilly, who is now out of mobile range in Tasmania. FUCK! and Jade doesn’t really want Tilly to move in, and true enough, she is a fair nutcase. But at least she’s clean and has money for rent.  Basically as far as I can tell, Ian went to his parents for the rent money who – terrified, no doubt, at the prospect of him moving home – gave him the money, on the condition that he stay here. Well I don’t care, I’m getting rid of him, one way or another.

Otherwise, I’ve spent the last few days of my holidays peacefully reading in parks and cafes, ever on the run from Ian. Finished that Houellbecq novel “Atomised”, bought “The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay” by Michael Chabon, the guy who wrote  “Wonderboys”. It’s alright, but has annoying obscure words in it