Emails between J and housemate Jade discussing the removal of Ian The Turkey. —–Original Message—– From: J Sent: Friday, 28 February 2003 9:14 AM To: Jade Subject: Well … How’ s the V&V going? Is it done yet? Was it an extravaganza? Dancing girls and donkey rides? Kissing booths and fire breathers? I remember when they launched the new logo at CPD, they had a … Continue reading How to remove a turkey from your house.
From: S Sent: 29 November 2002 9:18AM To: J Subject: Where art thou? Hello, my little bruv, well you have come out from under your rock then! I’m going to say it, Happy Birthday, Happy Bloody Birthday to you. Ok have been trying to sort out your CD radio clock thingy but it has to come from New South Wales, is there anywhere in … Continue reading Where art thou?
From: J Date: 30 September 2002 01:36 To: S Subject: Ooh Lawdy, here we go! Hey Sis. How are you? Well, bugger you, let’s talk about me and all my lovers! First lemme tell you about my midnight ATTACK (that might be overstating things just a tad) on Church Street at the hands of the Homely Homo, a former work colleague of mine. He’s 39, … Continue reading I kept my lips and teeth clenched together like a terrified clam.
From: J Date: 16 September 2002 12:44 To: S Subject: a big smooch…It will be a complete disaster Hey Sis. How are you? What are you doing? Me, I’ve been busy as hell. Paige’s back in town, so I spent Friday lunch with her, then we met up for dinner with Kacey who’s also in town only for a week (she’s been in London for … Continue reading It’s “self esteem” night at my support group. FFS!
I found this amongst J’s paperwork. It is a copy of a letter to an ex-colleague Tariq who was travelling overseas. Tuesday, 5 May 1998 Tariq, So here it is, you thought I’d forgotten you, huh? It’s just that I seem to have lost the knack for letter writing. But how are you doing? Picked up that Murdoch kowtowing job yet? Wrap your lips ’round … Continue reading One of my personalities is a Belgian pirate, perhaps I should let him out more often.
J’s Diary Entry Monday, 9 Feb 1998 Went swimming with Leah after work tonight at Richmond Pool. Fuck me it was hard work! I thought I was going to die after five minutes. I managed a paltry six laps and collapsed on the bench in agony. Leah swam another two. I think she’s been secretly practising. I was quite nervous about the change-room thing, but … Continue reading I bought my girl some dried squid – most aromatic if not romantic.
Thursday, 29 Jan 1998 Arrived home from UK. Got to Melbourne at 9pm. Glad to be home. Just a little anxious about things though, not sure why, just a general fear of “being caught out”. Caught out at what, I’m not sure. Dick* picked me up from the airport (J refers to our father by his first name). Saturday, 31 Jan 1998 Louise came … Continue reading In the Land of Oz a girl awaits.
Thursday, 12 September 1996 5:03pm Hi S, It’s after five. I’m in a proofing coma. I’ve proof-read absolutely stacks today. And I’ve drunk far too much coffee. You know how you get that skittish sort of feeling in your legs, and you can feel all the muscles in your scalp. And now I’m just glum. Weary. Got your letter. You know you shouldn’t make offers … Continue reading Everyone does the same thing – Uni, job, travel. And they all think they’re free spirits, with a novel inside them.
Friday 28 June 1996 8:40am We’re having a food-scare here at the moment Sis. It’s not quite up to your UK Mad Cow fiasco. There’s this massive crop of peanuts that had Salmonella in it. Now almost every single jar of peanut butter in Australia has been recalled. There’s been over fifty cases of food poisoning. Slater & Gordon (this really opportunistic law firm) has been advertising … Continue reading This reticence of mine, is a vegetarianism of the soul.
Friday, 31 May 1996 8:30am Dear S, Went and saw a film last night. It was Kenneth Brannagh’s Midwinter’s Tale. It was OK. A bit predictable in places, a bit cliched, but at least Kenneth managed to keep his fat head off the screen for once. Decided while sipping a coffee in Cafe Ritz (an embarrassing sort of place, on the corner of Exhibition … Continue reading I could go to Uni, pass, get a great job and then get struck by lightning. It’s all very risky, isn’t it?