I’ll swap you a kidney for some teeth.

From: S Sent: 04 November 2002 2:49PM To: J Subject: Dick called ‘oh MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   (in my best Janice voice). If he bags you one more time for not calling him, I told him off saying that he was in the middle of the bush on a dodgy mobile for god sake – how is anyone meant to call him! He says that last time … Continue reading I’ll swap you a kidney for some teeth.

The absolute MOTHER of all typos.

Tuesday, 30 January 1996  11:59PM Christ S, people really can’t be trusted with a secret can they? Henry the Brit has just let a cat out of a bag, and into some pretty dangerous hands too, might I add. Explanation: About three editions ago, there was an incredible typo that appeared in “Who the Fuck Cares”.  It was a rude word, the rudest word there … Continue reading The absolute MOTHER of all typos.

Lying is essential to fit in with society on that all-important superficial level. People really only want lip service.

J’s Diary Entries Saturday, 7 Jan, 1995 Spent the whole day getting this juggling thing down pat. I can do it for about a minute now, though I’m sure my next door neighbour must be sick of the sound of my balls thudding to the floor every minute or so. Moped around the house being annoyed at myself for spending all that money on booze last … Continue reading Lying is essential to fit in with society on that all-important superficial level. People really only want lip service.

I hired a few videos, bought a bottle of vodka, thus shall I while away the Christmas hours.

Fri 23 Dec 1994 – Work Break-Up Day, I didn’t handle myself terribly well. In my headlong determined rush to have a good time, I drank too much, hoping to set an example for my fellow reticent revelers. Fuck they’re a boring bunch. So young and earnest and mature – controlled. DULL!! At least Caleb liked his present.  I got a “CANDOM” from Quinn. It’s … Continue reading I hired a few videos, bought a bottle of vodka, thus shall I while away the Christmas hours.

Bad news letters from mum are always hand written.

7 February 1992 Dear S I know that this is going to be the hardest letter I have ever had to write. I have asked your Dad to leave the house.  The reason for this is that on Thursday night of last week I had been out and have had a feeling for some time that Dad was still seeing Lilith.  I drove around to … Continue reading Bad news letters from mum are always hand written.