Tuesday, 30 January 1996 11:59PM
Christ S, people really can’t be trusted with a secret can they? Henry the Brit has just let a cat out of a bag, and into some pretty dangerous hands too, might I add. Explanation:
About three editions ago, there was an incredible typo that appeared in “Who the Fuck Cares”. It was a rude word, the rudest word there is as a matter of fact. The magic ‘C’ word. In captials. As some bloke’s award. There it is, in the middle of his entry, “CUNT Award 1978…” The boss has never been made aware of this, it never made the papers, and the bloke whose entry it was wasn’t too concerned. However, the second in charge who was supervising the edition that year, was pretty up-tight about it, and tried very hard to keep a lid on it. Unfortunately, one day while I wasn’t in the office, it escaped. When I got back and found out, I went into damage control and swore everyone in the know to secrecy. What’s my motive in being so seemingly protective of the second in charge? Well, if the boss sees this mother of all typo’s, he’ll be very upset. And where and how is that spleen going to be vented? It’ll be vented in the manner of zealous surveillance to preclude any chance of it ever happening again. It’s self-interest really, I don’t want the boss looking over my shoulder all day.
So Henry went and told the son of the third in charge (No. 3 is forever wrangling with the No. 2 for office power), who will probably tell his Dad (Why not? It’s pretty funny), and then No. 3 will use it to get at No. 2 by telling No. 1 who’ll come down on Simon and I. I told everyone, Henry included, how incredibly important it was to keep this a secret, but people just forget, or they don’t care. I think that Henry wanted to impress No. 3’s son, he’s an impressive specimen – real fit homeboy type. Henry would impressed by his bruiser physique. FUCK! Do they do it because they’re weak, or because they’re bad people? Whaddya think? Are my expectations of people too high? Is it too much to expect, keeping a secret? Seriously, do you think we are just incapable of being trusted? That’s why I keep a diary, you know. It lets me tell it all the stuff that I can’t trust to people, and I know that as long as I look after my diary (keep it under lock and key), it will look after me. These carbon based life forms just let you down time and time again Sis.