7 February 1992

Dear S

I know that this is going to be the hardest letter I have ever had to write.

I have asked your Dad to leave the house.  The reason for this is that on Thursday night of last week I had been out and have had a feeling for some time that Dad was still seeing Lilith.  I drove around to her unit to find Dad’s car parked in her drive at midnight, 12.30am and 1am.  He was not home at 4am. He has often been out till 3 or 4am and I had been led to believe he was at James Spring’s  (probably where he left his car).

I went to see a solicitors on Monday and asked him to leave on Monday night because I believed he was seeing Lilith, to which he replied “I wouldn’t say that” and it wasn’t until I actually said I had seen his car there that he admitted it.  I cannot understand why he could have wanted to stay here if he was still seeing her.  Unfortunately I think it is to keep up appearances.

I would be very happy for him if Lilith will take him in but there is no way I can continue to live with him after all the lies and deceit.  I really feel I have been humiliated enough over the years and just want to lead my own life.

I am sorry this had to happen, but I do feel I had tried enough times and still he deceived me, so there is no alternative.

Please do not be too sad as it is really what I want and I am sure deep down it is what Dad wants too.  We are all fine so don’t worry.

All I want for you is to be happy and I feel you are certainly that with Jack.  Please talk to Jack about this, don’t bottle things up.  In fact make sure you talk about everything, it is more important to talk than anything else.

I love you very much and believe me I have tried to avoid this for all our sakes for quite a few years.  Whether that was the right thing to do I don’t know, maybe it would have been better to have taken the initiative years ago, but one cannot reverse time so there’s no point in dwelling on that.

Please don’t be too cross with me and remember that I do love you, even though you are a big girl now and have a life of your own.  I would like to always be a part of your life and will always be here if you need me.

Will write again or ring soon.

Lots of love

Mum

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