Thursday, 11 April 1996 8:30pm Hey Sis, Sitting here, on a rainless night, thinking about nothing, as in not thinking nothing but thinking about nothing. I do this sometimes at work, or when I’m bored. Think of it. Nothing. No matter, so no space. No time. Hmmm. There’s no time. I guess time doesn’t exist in a vacuum. Time is only measurable in its effect … Continue reading Girls either tart right up or slob right down after a break up. I suppose men do the same but lack the dramatic apparatus of make-up and mini-skirts.
Tuesday 21 November 1995 9:16AM Hey S, Tuesday mornin’, strollin’ up Collins Street, wading through a block and a half of baby-puke stink-smell that’s swirling invisibly around me from Elizabeth to Russell Street. I’m wearing a new shirt. It’s an ugly blue, gonna buy another two today, maybe. Just missed Princess Di’s diatribe on morning TV. Not sorry really, I think she’s ghastly. Goddamned show-pony, … Continue reading Columbo investigates the Swedish Postal System.
Tuesday, 31 October 1995 12:42pm God S, It’s been forever since I last wrote! I’ve been so busy with the book, I just haven’t had time for lunch-breaks or anything. But, yesterday I got Volume 2 (which we did first for some reason) off to the printers and now I’m keying corrections from the proof of Volume 1. Sooo, I can take ten minutes off … Continue reading The intricacies of office bitching and backstabbing.
Monday, 3 July 1995 12:28pm S, Howdy. Another heater-hugging morning down in the Antipodes. I’ve got my big bulky coat on and The Stone Roses in my Walkman and I’m feeling nice and cosy. I actually went to that party I was telling you about in my last letter. It was in Richmond, between two factories. Simon came over about 8pm with half a slab … Continue reading I even had on a mohair jumper! But all to no avail.
J’s Diary Entry Sunday, 28 May 1995 Not much of a day. Returned some library books, did some shopping, did some washing. Cooked cous-cous, wasn’t half bad actually. Leah stayed at Aidans’s last night. They went to a 21st birthday party, Leah had some falling-out with Aidan’s Mum and came home early today. She’s pissed off. We went for a bit of a drive around … Continue reading This artifice of depression has wormed its way into my head and, like a Swiss backpacker, has overstayed its welcome.
J’s Diary Entry Saturday, 29 April, 1995 Fended off Leah’s entreaties to help her shift this morning. Felt glad I didn’t cave in. Walked down to video shop with Aidan and stopped in a sad, neglected little comic shop on the way. Rented a crap movie at my insistence and had a “b” to help me sit through it. God awful film, “Deep Red”. Ate too … Continue reading My young life is so dull that I find two random daffodils exciting.
J’s Diary Entry Monday, 13 March, 1995 I’m feeling particularly industrious today. I’ve done more than usual. I’ve done a bit of gardening, actually put my clothes away in the wardrobe and even done some work I brought home with me on Friday, wish I’d brought more home with me. The phone has rung a few times, and it was ignored, I suspect it was … Continue reading The high stakes of deep romantic fulfillment versus soul-shredding rejection. I am going to be alone forever.
J kept a diary for most of 1995. Having read all our correspondence and his diaries in chronological order, 1995 seems like a pivotal year for his thinking and the many changes and choices he makes. Sun 1 Jan 1995 – Well, well, how exciting! A new diary. I’ve been dying to use it for the last few weeks, last year’s was simply too small … Continue reading 1 Jan 1995 – Happy New Year, now where is the vodka.
Fri 23 Dec 1994 – Work Break-Up Day, I didn’t handle myself terribly well. In my headlong determined rush to have a good time, I drank too much, hoping to set an example for my fellow reticent revelers. Fuck they’re a boring bunch. So young and earnest and mature – controlled. DULL!! At least Caleb liked his present. I got a “CANDOM” from Quinn. It’s … Continue reading I hired a few videos, bought a bottle of vodka, thus shall I while away the Christmas hours.
J’s Diary Entries Wed 9 Nov ’94 – Tonight I met Cav’s Dad, he writes proudly for a weekly paper at the age of 69. What an amazing man. Truly larger than life. Really funny, full of hidden talents – plays Chopin on the piano and drinks like a fish. Blue eyes, baldish, tall, large-framed. Proud of his German history. Cav’s Mum, also a well … Continue reading She has green eyes and nice teeth. Think I’ve made a mistake.