Monday, 3 July 1995  12:28pm

S,

Howdy.  Another heater-hugging morning down in the Antipodes.  I’ve got my big bulky coat on and The Stone Roses in my Walkman and I’m feeling nice and cosy.  I actually went to that party I was telling you about in my last letter.  It was in Richmond, between two factories.  Simon came over about 8pm with half a slab of beer and we promptly bought a pizza from across the road.  I ate my Vegetarian half with shots of vodka from my ill-gotten gains of the Builders Arms glassware division (I’m talking about the shot glasses I nicked) and listened to some CDs while Leah and Aidan got ready.  They were going to a party for Ricky’s 26th birthday.  I was invited specifically by Ricky, which made me suspicious because I don’t really know him that well.  My suspicions were well founded, but more about that later.

The four of us shared a cab ride, Leah and Aidan continuing on to Prahran.  The party was OK, but I think the liquor had a lot to do with that.  I would’ve been bored out of my skull if I was sober I think.  The women there were all quite thin and attractive, but I felt like my plebeian “Poo Town” roots and non-swish job prevented me from getting anywhere.  I should have known better really, but I tried anyway.  I spoke to about four girls during the course of the evening, and I even had on a mohair jumper, but it was all to no avail. Not even a nibble. Not even a phone number. I give up.  I truly do, I am never going to be nice to anyone ever again.  I’m just gonna be bitter and horrible, why not?  Let’s take the gloves off and show the world what really makes J tick – vitriolic acrimony, spite.  Ahh, that’s not true.  I’m too lazy to be really nasty.

So we stayed at the party until about 3am, and then Jeremy (one of our editors) gave Cav, Simon and I a ride down to Church Street, Richmond, where we ate souvlakis and gossiped for about an hour.  Then Simon and I shared a taxi and I got in around 4am.  It’s funny how you don’t realize how drunk you are until you get in the front door of your own house isn’t it?  I mean, I was holding it together really well without even realizing it.  I went down my hallway like a pinball, bouncing from one wall to the other.  So I drank half a gallon of water and brushed my teeth for half an hour then crawled into bed.  I only slept for four hours before the sunlight woke me up and introduced me to my headache who would be accompanying me for the next four to five hours until I felt well enough to imbibe that anabiotic coffee that my brain was screaming for.  I don’t know why I felt so bad, I really didn’t drink that much. I’ve drunk much more and felt far better on many occasions.  Who knows?

Leah came over later on to give me the gossip on the party, and those well-honed instincts of mine rang true.  That girl Chloe, that I ran out of the nightclub on  and never called back (see entry for 9/11/94) was there.  Leah over indulged at the party, and wasn’t at her most coherent when Chloe materialized at her shoulder and asked if I was around.  Then she asked Leah “What went wrong?” and so on.  Luckily Leah brushed her off with some platitudes, and she and Aidan left soon after.  Thank God I didn’t go!  What could be more embarrassing, more uncomfortable than being cornered by Chloe, intent on wheedling something out of me vis-a-vis my erstwhile affections.  The whole thing smacks of a set-up, melodramatic as that sounds.  Leah was told that Chloe wasn’t going to be at the party, that she was even overseas – in Japan, no less.  I guess I’m making her out to be a bit of a monster here, which isn’t really fair.  I just want to avoid her so devotedly because I know I’ve treated her shabbily, flirting with her for a whole evening and then disappearing, never calling or anything.  It’s all a bit of a storm in a teacup really.

Tuesday, 4 July 1995 9:10am

Spoke to Leah on the phone last night.  Embarrassment springs eternal as does vanity and paranoia.  It wasn’t really a set-up regarding Chloe.  Leah was told that she was overseas about a fortnight ago, and she returned in the interim.  And she has a boyfriend.  He’s fat and ugly, but he’s a boyfriend. Leah’s trying to goad me into going for Chloe and I’m kinda tempted – to get back into life, as it were – but that’s a bit evil really.  And over confident.  And when I think of all the pettiness and hassles involved I think I’ll just stay where I am.  And I’m really not into being a home-wrecker, really not into being a home-wrecker.  It would be a bit hypocritical I think, considering what you and I grew up with Sis.

What do you think, write and tell me?

J