Emails between J and housemate Jade discussing the removal of Ian The Turkey. —–Original Message—– From: J Sent: Friday, 28 February 2003 9:14 AM To: Jade Subject: Well … How’ s the V&V going? Is it done yet? Was it an extravaganza? Dancing girls and donkey rides? Kissing booths and fire breathers? I remember when they launched the new logo at CPD, they had a … Continue reading How to remove a turkey from your house.
Tuesday, 24 June 1996 2:50am Gee it felt good not to drink Sis. So righteous, so in control. I liked it so much, that I did it again on Friday night. Actually, everyone took it rather quietly, except Erin’s boyfriend, Billy. He got pissed. I think that getting pissed myself all the time has blinded me to the jibes that people make. Sometimes I wonder … Continue reading So we eat Ox Tail and Ox Tongue – but what do we do with the rest of the Ox?
Friday, 10 May 1996 8:35am It’s a New Age for J, Sis. I had a bit of a revelation last night. I was shaving after a bath to soothe away the rigours of the day, and I noticed something in my face I’d never spied before. I’m getting jowls. I’ve put on weight, and I’m getting jowls. They’re embryonic jowls to be sure, but the … Continue reading Men with jowls don’t dance.
Tuesday 21 November 1995 9:16AM Hey S, Tuesday mornin’, strollin’ up Collins Street, wading through a block and a half of baby-puke stink-smell that’s swirling invisibly around me from Elizabeth to Russell Street. I’m wearing a new shirt. It’s an ugly blue, gonna buy another two today, maybe. Just missed Princess Di’s diatribe on morning TV. Not sorry really, I think she’s ghastly. Goddamned show-pony, … Continue reading Columbo investigates the Swedish Postal System.
Sunday, 5 November 1995 12:58PM S, Yesterday was torture. Sooo hungover, I was ill all day. I didn’t get enough sleep, and my stomach just never recovered from all the poison it had to contain on Friday night. I’d had such a crap week, it was either go straight home or go on a bender. I went to “Klicks” with the pious intention of walking … Continue reading I’m like some over-cashed magpie looking to add another glossy treasure to my nest when I get in a shop.
Monday, 3 July 1995 12:28pm S, Howdy. Another heater-hugging morning down in the Antipodes. I’ve got my big bulky coat on and The Stone Roses in my Walkman and I’m feeling nice and cosy. I actually went to that party I was telling you about in my last letter. It was in Richmond, between two factories. Simon came over about 8pm with half a slab … Continue reading I even had on a mohair jumper! But all to no avail.
J’s Diary Entry Friday, 28 April 1995 Oh God what a dreadful evening this has turned out to be. I went drinking with work folk minus Cav (who has flown to Sydney for the weekend). Simon came and I was pleased he did, he was in good, bitchy form – slagging off everyone. Nadia and her boyfriend came. I was flirting a little with Nadia, … Continue reading It’s sad and it’s childish but all I wanted was to be loved tonight. I wanted someone to kiss my neck, put their arms around my waist.