Full-body chemical skin peels and a home perm.

  From: J Sent: 25 October 2002  12:33AM To: S Subject: volcanic lovemaking powers…(Yawn.) S Hey, guess what? I have a date tonight, a hot date with Steven from Pooftas Anon. At a restaurant near his place. VERY near his place, heh heh heh. We’ve already had a bit of a pash –  had a date earlier this week.  No sex, but a bit of a … Continue reading Full-body chemical skin peels and a home perm.

What sort of a person goes on other people’s dates? I’ll tell you, THE DEVIL, that’s who.

From: J Sent: 18 October 2002 5:57AM To: S Subject: I am the Devil Ah S, I am the DEVIL! I am Satan HIMSELF! Alright, you know how I went to that Pooftas Anonymous thing, right? Well, you know how I had a few admirers from that: Lance – creepy older guy, Bruno – another creepy guy and Jean-Jacques, the rather sweet Mauritian guy. Remember … Continue reading What sort of a person goes on other people’s dates? I’ll tell you, THE DEVIL, that’s who.

It’s great being part of a minority – you get to cruelly shock people and still feel persecuted and demand special privileges.

—–Original Message—– From: S Sent: Thursday, October  10, 2002 6:31 PM To: J Subject: You Gotta Laugh Mum asked if I heard from Dad on my birthday, I said ‘Yes’, and told her that he had his usual whinge at me that he hasn’t spoken to you in ages. The rest of the conversation went like this ‘Then you don’t think J has told him?’ … Continue reading It’s great being part of a minority – you get to cruelly shock people and still feel persecuted and demand special privileges.

I’m just going to slip back into my chastity belt.

  From S Date: Wednesday, October 09, 220 06:15 To: J Subject: DSCN 1 973.JPG;DSCN 1 975.JPG;DSCN 1 968.JPG;DSCN 1 970.JPG Some pics of your nieces for you.     From J Date: 10 October 2002 12:36 To: S Subject: Self-obsessed Hey – I was talking about Brownies just yesterday! I was saying to my co-workers that I’m sure there’s something in Brownies where they … Continue reading I’m just going to slip back into my chastity belt.

Toasters & Gay Greek Farmers

From S Date: 03 October 2002 02:59 To: J Subject: Final proof the world has gone mad Have a look at this madness J.  http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/2294847.stm How are you my darling. I love your emails. My God you certainly have ‘come out’ haven’t you. I can’t believe how hard it must have been for you not living how you wanted to or if you were, trying … Continue reading Toasters & Gay Greek Farmers

I kept my lips and teeth clenched together like a terrified clam.

From: J Date: 30 September 2002 01:36 To: S Subject: Ooh Lawdy, here we go! Hey Sis. How are you?  Well, bugger you, let’s talk about me and all my lovers! First lemme tell you about my midnight ATTACK (that might be overstating things just a tad) on Church Street at the hands of the Homely Homo, a former work colleague of mine. He’s 39, … Continue reading I kept my lips and teeth clenched together like a terrified clam.

This reticence of mine, is a vegetarianism of the soul.

Friday 28 June 1996  8:40am We’re having a food-scare here at the moment Sis.  It’s not quite up to your UK Mad Cow fiasco.  There’s this massive crop of peanuts that had Salmonella in it.  Now almost every single jar of peanut butter in Australia has been recalled.  There’s been over fifty cases of food poisoning.  Slater & Gordon (this really opportunistic law firm) has been advertising … Continue reading This reticence of mine, is a vegetarianism of the soul.

And so my great journey across the desert of Coitus Non-Existus continues…

Monday, 29 February 1996  Sis, It’s leap year day, last one for eight years apparently.  Some glitch in the cosmos, I don’t pretend to understand.  Spent the day blanched by the suffocating heat, indulging in office gossip shenanigans.  I love the word shenanigans.  There it is again, shenanigans, shenanigans. Made castles in Spain with Scottish Lisa in the tea room.  I was going to write a … Continue reading And so my great journey across the desert of Coitus Non-Existus continues…

I missed the whole day, one whole day of my life disappeared because I consumed too much of a drink that I find loathsome in an establishment I find stultifying. Just doesn’t make sense does it?

Tuesday, 22 August 1995  2:55pm Afternoon S, Just been over the road for a coffee and a read.  I loped up the stairs to lodge myself in my favorite Collins Place reading nook, and – lo and behold! – there’s a couple coupling. Right where I normally sit and pore through my snide little novels. Dizgusting! I had to turn away and hover around the … Continue reading I missed the whole day, one whole day of my life disappeared because I consumed too much of a drink that I find loathsome in an establishment I find stultifying. Just doesn’t make sense does it?