I’m just going to slip back into my chastity belt.

 

From     S
Date:    Wednesday, October 09, 220 06:15
To:      J
Subject: DSCN 1 973.JPG;DSCN 1 975.JPG;DSCN 1 968.JPG;DSCN 1 970.JPG

Some pics of your nieces for you.

 

 

From     J
Date:    10 October 2002 12:36
To:      S
Subject: Self-obsessed

Hey – I was talking about Brownies just yesterday! I was saying to my co-workers that I’m sure there’s something in Brownies where they have to worship a giant mushroom. I’m POSITIVE I remember something about this. Not that I was IN Brownies, I was in Cubs, and LORDY how I hated it! It was the shorts, I hated wearing the shorts. My fat little pink hairy legs, always looking like they’d been freshly slapped. Ah, I remember how I was the only cub without a badge. They ended up GIVING me the bronze boomerang, ha ha! Wot a sad case!

But Brady looks happy – is she a volunteer or are you just getting her out of the house? God she’s grown. And Ola looked positively POSSESSED with happiness in the photo you sent on Tuesday.

I ain’t been up to much this week. Am very poor. Put all my money on my credit card last week and now have no cash. Been eating toasted cheese sandwiches for lunch since Monday. A bit depressing to tell the truth. And speaking of depressing, all my admirers have abandoned me! (Sob!) I sent an EXCELLENT email to Steve and EVEN timidly suggested a date to go see something at the Fringe Festival. He replied telling me about his date on Sunday (the Greek farmer who’s too good looking to go out) who turned out to be shallow, undemonstrative (i.e. frigid), self-obsessed and allergic to every foodstuff under the sun. But Steve is still interested in him cos he’s got “a body that you want to tie spread eagle to the bed and rub down with low fat mayonnaise”.  As opposed to my body, I suppose, that invites one to stuff an apple in its gob and roast it on a spit like the PORKER IT TRULY IS.  BAAAA-AH! Needless to say, Steve did not mention, much less accept, my suggestion of a joint outing.  I was supposed to be seeing him last night but he didn’t show. Jean-Jacques, however, did declare his love for me at DTs last night but I had to give him the “I’m so sorry  I just  don’t feel  that way” speech which is always awful. He was fine about it though. So I now have no lovers AT ALL, and good riddance I say! I’m slipping back into my chastity belt.

Anyhoo, that’s enough self-obsessed twaddle for one morning. I’d better get down to the dentist so I can become even  POORER.

J

 

 

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