J’s Diary Entry Monday, 22 May 1995 First day at work with new hair do. God, you’d think I was levitating or something, they were so amazed. Even Cav said something from a safe distance. Had a stressful experience in Collins Place today. In the morning I went over for some food and passed Kara, the girl with the green eyes from “Croissant Connection” that … Continue reading Crisis at the Croissant Connection Cafe.
J’s Diary Entry Thursday, 18 May 1995 I said an awkward hello to Cav in the fax room today. It lifted me for a bit, made me think or rather tacitly hope that things would go back to how they were. I know they wont though. Exile is a little more dignified when it’s self imposed. I’m going to ask Caitlin if I can leave … Continue reading Reincarnation is my greatest fear. That, and the dentist.
J’s Diary Entry Wednesday, 17 May 1995 Actually thought about someone else today. I decided I shouldn’t kill myself until my sister has her baby. I actually didn’t want to stress her at this point. I wonder if anyone suspects how much it is on my mind? I truly hope not, I don’t want their suffocating concern. That’s why I like Simon, he’s such a … Continue reading I decided I shouldn’t kill myself until my sister has her baby.
J’s Diary Entry Tuesday, 16 May 1995 Trying hard to hold it together. My new found optimism is fading badly. Spent another day mired in ill-humour. Christopher Watts rang me at work and invited me to the Builders Arms again. (He cancelled last time). I rushed home, showered, caught a tram back into the City and waited for the No 86 to Bundoora. I waited. … Continue reading My new found optimism is fading badly.
J’s Diary Entry Monday, 15 May 1995 Just figured out I was snubbed on Friday night. I was not invited for Friday drinks on purpose. Jeremy blabbed. Well, not really blabbed, but he made it obvious. I was at the printer, and he asked me if I went straight home on Friday. I said yes, and he said something about how he had a few … Continue reading I need to get better at handling rejection. I guess I can’t make people like me.
Friday, 12 May 1995 Howdy S, I’d ask how you are, but I’m too self-absorbed in horror to think of anything but my own suffering. She touched me again, you know, the Ms X that I don’t want to name for fear of litigation. She linked her arm through mine and rested her head on my shoulder and quaked with laughter as I vibrated on … Continue reading When I’ve exercised all this wobble off, I might even venture out to pluck a fruit from the Girl Tree.
J’s Diary Entry Wednesday, 10 May 1995 My cold weather zeal has taken hold of me again. I’ve started exercising like I mean it. I haven’t had a “b” for a week (not long, I know, but I feel a difference) and I’m working hard at the book. I didn’t play Tetris once on the computer today, nor did I spend hours writing to my sister. … Continue reading I want to extend my bravado beyond these pages.
J’s Diary Entry Tuesday, 9 May 1995 “For those who live neither with religious consolations about death nor with a sense of death (or of anything else) as natural, death is the obscene mystery, the ultimate affront, the thing that cannot be controlled. It can only be denied. A large part of the popularity and persuasiveness of psychology comes from its being a sublimated spiritualism: … Continue reading Psychology is not the be-all and end-all.
Thursday, 4 May, 1995 S, We just had to key in Nancy Wake’s entry for “Who the Fuck Cares”. Wow, bit of an awesome resume. I saw a TV program on her once, she was pretty wild in the French Resistance. You know she executed a female Nazi prisoner. I wonder if she got the taste for blood, she seemed pretty enthusiastic about the execution … Continue reading If I feel the need to flee, I’ll start acting appallingly. Maybe I should make myself a menu of atrocities to commit, in case I go blank at a critical moment.
Tuesday, 2 May, 1995 S, How’s the incubation coming along? Have you been taking measurements of your mighty girth? You really ought to you know, it’s the sort of thing you can use against the bairn when it acts up – “You know my stomach was bloated to one hundred inches because of you!! You’ve ruined my life! Get back in the cupboard you LIFE … Continue reading Guess What?! Someone unseen, someone possibly very sexy, on this day, might have found my bum fondle-worthy!
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