Tag: letters

1995, Letters from J, Letters to S

Guess What?! Someone unseen, someone possibly very sexy, on this day, might have found my bum fondle-worthy!

Tuesday, 2 May, 1995 S, How’s the incubation coming along?  Have you been taking measurements of your mighty girth?  You really ought to you know, it’s the sort of thing you can use against the bairn when it acts up – “You know my stomach was bloated to one hundred inches because of you!!  You’ve ruined my life! Get back in the cupboard you LIFE … Continue reading Guess What?! Someone unseen, someone possibly very sexy, on this day, might have found my bum fondle-worthy!

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1995, Letters from J, Letters to S, Our Troublesome Father

The human body just requires too much maintenance.

Wednesday, 4 January 1995 Well, Happy New Year Sis. I hope you had, as the saying goes, a good ‘un. Personally I went to bed at 11:00pm, I’ve never been one for celebrating such occasions. Thanks for the book and juggling balls, I picked them up from the post office today. I’ve since discovered that half the office can juggle with ease, leaving me looking … Continue reading The human body just requires too much maintenance.

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1994, Letters from J, Letters to S

My social life is about as exciting as a Methodist cake-stall.

Thursday, 1 September 1994 Dear Sis, How’s the birthday girl?  Mum tells me you’re jetting off to Spain for an el cheapo face lift to halt the inevitable march of Father Time.  How old are you now anyway?  It doesn’t matter, you being five years older than me and all.  I would gladly give the flower of my youth in exchange for all the arcane … Continue reading My social life is about as exciting as a Methodist cake-stall.

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1994, Letters from J, Not Sent/Received

I am sick of crappy books and crappy television and crappy people.

THIS IS ANOTHER OF THE LETTERS/WRITINGS MY BROTHER WROTE FOR ME (WHILST OUR MOTHER WAS VISITING ME IN THE UK), BUT I NEVER RECEIVED IT.  IT WAS AMONGST HIS DIARIES AND OTHER DOCUMENTS I FOUND AFTER HIS DEATH, HE HAD WRITTEN “NOT SENT” ON IT.  IT IS DATED 27 FEB 1994. Dear S (Jack and Mum) What is it with Melbourne that is so horrible … Continue reading I am sick of crappy books and crappy television and crappy people.

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1994, Letters from J, Letters to S

My heart pounding so hard plaster was coming off the walls.

Monday, 28 March 1994 Dear S, Well the bomb dropped and the dust has cleared, and with the benefit of the clarity of this fine Autumn day, I can truly say that I feel I have done the right thing.  It was not nearly as bad as I thought it would be, it really went quite well.  It didn’t actually happen on Thursday, the day … Continue reading My heart pounding so hard plaster was coming off the walls.

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1994, Letter from Grandparents, Letters to S

The weather is very important to Nana.

8 Mar 1994 Dear S and Jack, Thanks ever so much for the lovely perfume and the card and the phone call for my 70th birthday, it was lovely to receive so much attention.  Gee I had a great day, in fact the whole week was just beaut.  And at last we have been to Pomona which we have wanted to see for so long … Continue reading The weather is very important to Nana.

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1994, Letters from J, Letters to S

Being too satisfied seems to be a creative restraint.

Monday, 7 March 1994 Dear S, Hi, it’s a Monday and I have the feeling it’s going to be a long one.  I’m flying solo today, as Simon has apparently taken ill over the weekend and won’t be joining me for today’s festivities.  Exactly what those festivities entail, I’m not too sure.  In this zany, nutty, el whacko funhouse, who can tell? Yes, today, I … Continue reading Being too satisfied seems to be a creative restraint.

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1994, Letters from J, Letters to S

Farts & Deadlocks on Doors

Tuesday, 11 January 1994 S, How’s it going?  I mailed your first Cleo magazine yesterday, but didn’t have time to put a letter in.  I must say, to my shame, that I had a flick through it.  Well, what I saw was enough for me to be sworn off bananas for life! (see the “Banana Smooshie” recipe in the “How to Drive Your Man Wild … Continue reading Farts & Deadlocks on Doors

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1992, Letters from Mum, Letters to S, Our Troublesome Father

Bad news letters from mum are always hand written.

7 February 1992 Dear S I know that this is going to be the hardest letter I have ever had to write. I have asked your Dad to leave the house.  The reason for this is that on Thursday night of last week I had been out and have had a feeling for some time that Dad was still seeing Lilith.  I drove around to … Continue reading Bad news letters from mum are always hand written.

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