I’m really not sure if I’m doing this properly, I understand people maybe don’t comment on the writing as it has already been written by my brother. It’s not possible to ‘tweak’ the story line as such, it is what it is, and unfortunately set in stone. I don’t know if anyone is reading this from beginning in order or if people are just reading them as and when they pop up with a tag that resonates with them. I guess without reading the ABOUT Page it may not make sense to people.
It is my hope that people take the journey, start at the start and hopefully see themes, threads developing, family interactions that I may not have seen being too close to the picture, a nuance I may have missed, a perspective I haven’t applied –I’m seeking your interpretations of our interactions, your comparable experiences and advice from siblings of suicide, children of depressed parents, anyone.
I took my time to put all our correspondence in order and am posting from 1991 to 2004, when my brother died, but nonetheless am coming across items that slot in where I have already posted and as far as I can see I cannot go back and slot letters in. I have also come across a number of letters J wrote to me but never sent – I have decided that I will include these marked as NOT SENT, there must be a reason he didn’t send them, they must contain some sort of clues to his thinking(?). I am also posting J’s drawings attached to the relevant letter and am gradually listing his library of books on GoodReads – link to the right of the page – I am assuming I’m doing it properly and that the links are working. Being technically challenged I am happy to receive any advice on my layout, posting frequency, links etc.
I am hoping that readers can help me to understand my family, and view us from alternative perspectives. I also hope that if people read it in order and see the development of J’s depression and anhedonia that they may recognise it in themselves or others and it may help them save themselves, a friend, a loved one, a co-worker, a brother, anyone.