From:    S
Date:    20 August 2002  05:30
To:      J
Subject:

J I didn’t give Mum the letter I was just too too scared, really I am. But I do want to mail it. Oh fuck it, I don’t know what to do.

I sent a tentative letter to Aunty Tia asking how she found mum when she was up there recently and I scantily touched on the negativity bit. I received an email this morning, now I know we incorporate our own tone when reading emails but it came across as a bit snotty to me, which made me think maybe mum’s problems are childhood based and Aunty Tia is a lot of them and of course this could be just one giant fucked up leap on my behalf.

Why does ‘family’ have to be so hard? Always disliked Dad’s side, particularly Parker’s- pure snobbery on my behalf- THEY ARE DUMB as DUMB ASS AS YOU GET and yes that is what my hate is based on (remember how Kezza would always steal my seafood at Christmas). Always really loved Aunty Tia though.  Anyway fuck the lot, no chuffing, stuffing wonder  I took off to the farthest English speaking country I could find.

Would you believe me if I told you, you are the only one I truly love and adore, should hate you really the way Mum so obviously preferred you and loved you, but who could hate the ChickaBoom boy   : )

I love you so much little brother, I wish I’d taken you with me when I ran away to England.

S

From:    J
Date:    21 August 2002  12:31
To:      S
Subject:

Ha, you’re on to something when you throw Aunty Tia into the mix. Whenever she and Mum have to spend more than a fortnight together the claws come OUT, BABY! Aunty Tia makes Ma feel fat and stupid. She always teases Mum about being short – which must have sucked when everyone else in your family is tall – and is sort of mean to her, but all in the name of fun which makes Mum feel like a bitch when she can’t take it anymore -she’s “spoiling all the fun”. Aunty Tia kind of knows it, and may well have been on the defensive when you brought it up so subtly. She might have thought you were fishing for an admission or something. But who knows? I’m building supposition on secondary evidence here.

And the Parker’s, sweet Jesus-hanging-on-the-cross! Do you know Kezza wouldn’t speak to me at Nana’s funeral?  Not that I want to be close to them or anything, but it felt like a bit of a pissing competition  – Who Loved Nana the Most? And do you know, I’m yet to receive my invitation to her wedding? I must call Australia Post and see what the problem is. And Donny has the worst beard you’ve ever seen, one of those ones where the moustache is too long and it covers his mouth up and catches all his food. And it’s exactly the same colour as his skin, which is very strange to look at let me tell you. AND he has more ear-hair than I have EVER seen, ANYWHERE. It’s unbelievable.  It would  have to be half an inch long. I’m NOT kidding, I didn’t stop looking at it. And it’s ESPECIALLY weird because he shaves his head (looks like a number 2 to me), and then he’s got this freaky, skin coloured hair sprouting all over the rest of his head. Call me a uptight, but I just don’t believe that the hair in one’s ears should exceed in length the hair on one’s head. His eyebrows are pretty funky too.

And don’t go about feeling bad ‘cos Ma preferred me – Dad certainly preferred you. I have a Lot Policy for family life: don’t look back or you’ll turned into a pillar of salt*.

I couldn’t open your insanity test – the firewall  here stopped it. Spewin’,  I love on-line tests.

FOOTNOTES:

“Genesis 1 9 says that Lot’s wife turned into a pillar of salt. Is this possible?”

“This remarkable happening is stated matter-of-factly, with no suggestion that it was a special miracle or divine judgment . Lot’s wife “looked back” (the phrase might even be rendered “returned back” or “lagged back”) seeking to cling to her luxurious  life in Sodom  (note Christ’s  reference to this in Luke 1 7:32,33) and was destroyed in the “overthrow”  (Genesis  1 9:25,29) of the city. There are many great deposits of rock salt in the region, probably formed by massive precipitation from thermal brines upwelling from the earth  ‘s deep mantle during the great Flood. Possibly the overthrow  buried her in a shower of these salt deposits blown skyward by the explosions. There is also the possibility that she was buried in a shower of volcanic ash, with her body gradually being converted into “salt” over the years following through the process of petrifaction, in a manner similar to that experienced by the inhabitants of Pompeii and Herculaneum in the famous eruption of Mount Vesuvius .

• Henry Morris (taken from: “The Defenders  Study  Bible”)