It’s as if I’m standing in the middle of life as a time-line, and I’m wondering which is more important to who I am? My future or my past?

Friday, 22 September 1995  9:10AM Woke up late, feeling groggy, still do as a matter of fact. Read more of that Sartre last night, and it’s provoking some self-examination that I think I probably would’ve been better off without. I suppose I should explain – this book “The Age of Reason” is sort of filled with this feeling of expectancy, a hesitancy and fear of … Continue reading It’s as if I’m standing in the middle of life as a time-line, and I’m wondering which is more important to who I am? My future or my past?

I wish I could be happy with less.

J’s Diary Entry Friday, 15 September 1995 I was walking down Puckle Street, looking at couples strolling as I strode (only single people stride) and thought “How come they can manage it and I can’t? and then I got depressed, then realised that getting depressed so quickly is the reason I can’t manage what they can, which was depressing in itself.  It’s weird, Dad said … Continue reading I wish I could be happy with less.

In a work context, this year seems to have snuck past while I was in the tea room.

Thursday, 14 September 1995  9:24PM Wow, I can’t believe it’s September S.  In a work context, this year seems to have snuck past when I was in the tea room, though I can’t recall what I did for New Year’s Eve at all. That’s a bit of a concern.  I really can’t remember what I did. I just asked Simon. He said I did nothing, at … Continue reading In a work context, this year seems to have snuck past while I was in the tea room.

How the Hell can someone have B.O. at 8:45 in the bloody morning? How?!

Friday, 1 September 1995 9:14am I’m here.  I made it!  Roasted – purified – by the flames of public transport.  Lordy it was a trial.  You just never know what’s in store for you.  I’m standing there at the tram stop, waiting to be whooshed along tram arteries to the sticky furious heart of the city, pounding, pounding, pounding.  I get on, move to a spot … Continue reading How the Hell can someone have B.O. at 8:45 in the bloody morning? How?!

I guess you could call it a role playing, electronic, sexless, sci-fi, extra-marital affair.

31 August 1995 To you my Dear Dear Brother, Well where to start, maybe with the standard apology for not writing sooner or more often but I am afraid that the re-telling of the drudgery of my married life in the suburbs may not prove entertaining to you and besides I would rather you had some image in your head of me living in the … Continue reading I guess you could call it a role playing, electronic, sexless, sci-fi, extra-marital affair.

Bear with me J, I haven’t forgotten you.

18 August 1995 Hi J, Just a quick aerogram to let you know that I’m getting your letters and they’re not disappearing into an abyss. This has been unbearable, I would rather have given birth to another ten babies than have gone through this, it’s really hard to get it together. I have started a long letter to you and I shall send it as soon as … Continue reading Bear with me J, I haven’t forgotten you.

Well, I’m in two minds about it and let me tell you two minds are not better than one. Two minds require much more maintenance.

Wednesday, 23 August 1995 9:24am Bright bright morning, sun in my eyes on the tram.  No Summer clothes, coffee drunk too quickly scalding my lips and tongue.  A rushed start to the day. I’ve decided to become one of those despicable early to bed and early to rise people.  I wanna wake with the Summer dawn and feel righteous every day.  Maybe this is an echo … Continue reading Well, I’m in two minds about it and let me tell you two minds are not better than one. Two minds require much more maintenance.

I have to laugh at so many crap jokes in the course of my day, just to stroke the egos of others. I could sigh my insides out.

Tuesday, 1 August 1995 12:03pm S, I did write half a letter yesterday, but the computer froze and I lost it all.  Damn frustrating you know.  I guess I’ll start by recounting the weekend. Friday night there was going-away drinks for Keely, our longest-serving editor.  She had been here five years, which is only one up on me incidentally.  We went to “Klicks” and sprawled … Continue reading I have to laugh at so many crap jokes in the course of my day, just to stroke the egos of others. I could sigh my insides out.

When on earth did Mum start playing the pokies?

FAX FROM MUM TO S 2:20pm 31ST JULY 1995 Dear S, Thank you for the beautiful flowers – hot pink roses and irises. You really are a naughty girl to do that, but they are absolutely beautiful. I am sitting here looking at my beautiful granddaughter, I have put her photo in a frame below my computer screen.  I guess she is still talking about … Continue reading When on earth did Mum start playing the pokies?

If everything is pointless, why not do anything, absolutely anything?

Wednesday, 26 July 1995 9:11am Howdy S, Another day.  Woke up late, no time to make my lunch.  Crept into my clothes, sleep unfurling smokily from my back as the tram sped me down Flemington Road.  And now here I am again, at this desk, blank as a soldier.  What difference does any of it make anyhow?  We’re all of us just big old sacks … Continue reading If everything is pointless, why not do anything, absolutely anything?