Tag: journal

1995, J's Diary Entries

I feel like the neglected girl-next-door, too plain, too sedentary.

J has cut out and completely removed three quarters of this page – all that remains is what he wrote at the bottom which follows. J’s Diary Entry  – Tuesday, 25 July 1995 Cav’s going to Canberra for a job interview tomorrow.  He’ll get the job, and he’ll leave (me) and go on to a fabulous life, never looking back.  I feel like the neglected girl-next-door, … Continue reading I feel like the neglected girl-next-door, too plain, too sedentary.

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1995, J's Diary Entries

Nice chatting to you Sis.

XXXX represents the parts of his diaries that J has cut out and destroyed.   J’s Diary Entry Friday, 21 July 1995 S rang tonight, she was after the phone number of a florist in “Poo Town”.  I heard Brady crying in the background.  It was a nice chat, I got inordinately excited, I wonder if Leah noticed, and if so, what she thought of it. … Continue reading Nice chatting to you Sis.

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1995, J's Diary Entries

What if I wig out in the bedroom and she tells people?

J’s Diary Entry Friday, 7 July 1995 I don’t want to do anything about Chloe unless I am completely sure that I won’t be rejected.  And there’s the question of whether she’ll want me once she knows more about me.  Self-mutilators don’t get much good press you know.  And there’s the whole sex/performance thing which so poisoned the air between Leah and I.  What if … Continue reading What if I wig out in the bedroom and she tells people?

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1995, J's Diary Entries

This is my brother, laying his shredded heart and soul bare. If you only read one of his posts please make it this one. S

J’s Diary Entry Tuesday, 4 July 1995 I’m walking down Collins Street, around 6:30pm, and I see this couple walking towards me, and I think, How do they do it? How do they make it seem so effortless?  This drifting apart and coming together again, like the sea and the shore. I don’t know how people can just meld so comfortably. I feel twisted and … Continue reading This is my brother, laying his shredded heart and soul bare. If you only read one of his posts please make it this one. S

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1995, J's Diary Entries

I fear the vulnerability of confession.

J’s Diary Entry Tuesday, 27 June 1995 Sometimes I think about how much I’d like to explain myself fully to someone.  Someone who would just sit there quietly, open and non-judging.  I’d like to explain to them how a cheery boy with a love of reading developed a penchant for books exploring the “darker regions of the soul” he had not personally acquainted himself with. … Continue reading I fear the vulnerability of confession.

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1995, J's Diary Entries

I just want people to know I’m not what I look like.

J’s Diary Entry Sunday, 25 June 1995 It’s funny how little things can have such an effect on you.  I woke up early this morning, feeling over-vodka’d, and staggered down to the kitchen to gulp down freezing water to replenish my brain.  I went shopping at the Little Food Mart just down the road, and I have vowed to never shop there again for fresh … Continue reading I just want people to know I’m not what I look like.

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1995, J's Diary Entries

Bored to tears by violent tales of feline genealogy and death.

J’s Diary Entry XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX  represents parts of his diary that my brother has sliced out and destroyed. Friday, 9 June 1995 Wow, what a weird night. Went over the road for drinks. I decided not to drink too much, and to this noble notion I stayed true, having only 5 neat vodkas. Most of the others got drunk, apart from Simon (who never really lets … Continue reading Bored to tears by violent tales of feline genealogy and death.

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1995, J's Diary Entries

Hey, you’re not so unattractive, why are you alone?

J’s Diary Entry Thursday, 8 June 1995 Fare dodged on the tram today – always makes me feel special. Simon decided today that he’s only going to Europe for three months. He’s afraid Kerry may not still want him. It’s kinda sad. She’s too proud (it seems) to openly admit she wants him over there, and he’s too scared of rejection to rush over to … Continue reading Hey, you’re not so unattractive, why are you alone?

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