I feel like the neglected girl-next-door, too plain, too sedentary.

J has cut out and completely removed three quarters of this page – all that remains is what he wrote at the bottom which follows.


J’s Diary Entry  – Tuesday, 25 July 1995

Cav’s going to Canberra for a job interview tomorrow.  He’ll get the job, and he’ll leave (me) and go on to a fabulous life, never looking back.  I feel like the neglected girl-next-door, too plain, too sedentary.  Why is it that the sparkling ones, the one’s whose glittering conversation and friendship I yearn for, always slip away, receding into the distance.  For some reason now I think of Tom, S and Jack’s friend in England.  The good-looking brilliant one who causes everyone so much concern with his drinking and first-rate brain.  He and Cav would make a good pair, though they’d probably hate each other, or so I seem to want to believe.  I’m all wrapped up in melancholy, nostalgia, that bitter-sweet yearning for things past that can never be satisfied.

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