J has cut out and completely removed three quarters of this page – all that remains is what he wrote at the bottom which follows.
J’s Diary Entry – Tuesday, 25 July 1995
Cav’s going to Canberra for a job interview tomorrow. He’ll get the job, and he’ll leave (me) and go on to a fabulous life, never looking back. I feel like the neglected girl-next-door, too plain, too sedentary. Why is it that the sparkling ones, the one’s whose glittering conversation and friendship I yearn for, always slip away, receding into the distance. For some reason now I think of Tom, S and Jack’s friend in England. The good-looking brilliant one who causes everyone so much concern with his drinking and first-rate brain. He and Cav would make a good pair, though they’d probably hate each other, or so I seem to want to believe. I’m all wrapped up in melancholy, nostalgia, that bitter-sweet yearning for things past that can never be satisfied.