I’m drunk on juicy office gossip.

Tuesday, 9 April 1996  9:48pm Hey Sis, How you doing? Another typed letter from your bro.  Poorly typed an’ all.  It’s raining here, on Easter Tuesday.  Jana Wendt is on Channel 7, hosting her new (and deskless, might I add) show, “Witness”.  It’s quite highbrow, long pieces on “real” issues.  I do suspect, however, that she is sans desk simply to show off her legs. … Continue reading I’m drunk on juicy office gossip.

Oh Mum, it’s gonna take a lot more than some Vitamin B to sort this out.

FAX FROM MUM TO S AUG 1995 Dear S, So sorry to hear you are back in hospital yet again, but best to get it cleared up. June from work said that her specialist told her to take B6 100mgs for breast problems and better still if it is a Vitamin B Complex. Look after yourself and do exactly what they tell you to do. … Continue reading Oh Mum, it’s gonna take a lot more than some Vitamin B to sort this out.

I have to laugh at so many crap jokes in the course of my day, just to stroke the egos of others. I could sigh my insides out.

Tuesday, 1 August 1995 12:03pm S, I did write half a letter yesterday, but the computer froze and I lost it all.  Damn frustrating you know.  I guess I’ll start by recounting the weekend. Friday night there was going-away drinks for Keely, our longest-serving editor.  She had been here five years, which is only one up on me incidentally.  We went to “Klicks” and sprawled … Continue reading I have to laugh at so many crap jokes in the course of my day, just to stroke the egos of others. I could sigh my insides out.

I tell you Sis, this freezing weather really makes me respect English streakers.

Monday, 10 July 1995 1:11pm S, Oh-my-God-oh-my-God it is so Goddamn cold here I’ll be lucky to make it home with all my extremities.  I tell you Sis, this weather really makes me respect English streakers.  You have to have enormous dedication to the cause of public nudity to get your gear off in this type of weather.  It’s like 4 degrees here. I’m so … Continue reading I tell you Sis, this freezing weather really makes me respect English streakers.

I’m writing to you from the belly of the beast.

Tuesday, 27 June 1995 8:04am Good morning, At least, it is here anyway.  I’m in early, kudos to me, kudos to me.  I woke up at 5am, listened to the radio for a while, and, seized with expiatory zeal, I thought I’d come in early to make recompense for my days of wayward bludging earlier this year.  Truth is I couldn’t get back to sleep … Continue reading I’m writing to you from the belly of the beast.

I just want people to know I’m not what I look like.

J’s Diary Entry Sunday, 25 June 1995 It’s funny how little things can have such an effect on you.  I woke up early this morning, feeling over-vodka’d, and staggered down to the kitchen to gulp down freezing water to replenish my brain.  I went shopping at the Little Food Mart just down the road, and I have vowed to never shop there again for fresh … Continue reading I just want people to know I’m not what I look like.

God, she was so old, I thought she might die sitting right there next to me.

Thursday, 22 June 1995 9:06am It is so cold here today. It’s 2 degrees. Two. OK, so it’s not the loneliest number or anything but it’s close enough. It’s one of those perfectly still and clear cobalt blue mornings where your breath hangs in the air for ages. I rode one of those old W Class trams up Collins Street this morning.  You know, the … Continue reading God, she was so old, I thought she might die sitting right there next to me.

J the handyman continues his conquest of the world of hardware.

J’s Diary Entry Monday, 5 June 1995 My God!  It’s so cruelly cold in my house. My hands are so cold I can hardly write. Stood in a queue today next to some Canadian guy chatting with a 50-ish Australian woman about Melbourne.  He was tall, lanky, blonde, tanned and had a slight lisp, that made his s’s sound like zh’s, if you know what … Continue reading J the handyman continues his conquest of the world of hardware.

Crisis at the Croissant Connection Cafe.

J’s Diary Entry Monday, 22 May 1995 First day at work with new hair do.  God, you’d think I was levitating or something, they were so amazed. Even Cav said something from a safe distance. Had a stressful experience in Collins Place today.  In the morning I went over for some food and passed Kara, the girl with the green eyes from “Croissant Connection” that … Continue reading Crisis at the Croissant Connection Cafe.

Maybe I should get a dog. Dogs have no self esteem, that’s why they’ll do anything for you.

Tuesday, 14 Feb 1995, 9:13am St Valentine’s Day. Where’s my fuckin’ cards? I haven’t got one damn message of desire, and it’s already quarter past nine. I haven’t got any faxes, letters, cards, taped messages – not even a nudey photo of someone I’ve never met but glanced at briefly on Parliament Train Station, Platform Four. What’s the deal here? There was only one Valentine’s … Continue reading Maybe I should get a dog. Dogs have no self esteem, that’s why they’ll do anything for you.