J’s Diary Entry Tuesday, 9 May 1995 “For those who live neither with religious consolations about death nor with a sense of death (or of anything else) as natural, death is the obscene mystery, the ultimate affront, the thing that cannot be controlled. It can only be denied. A large part of the popularity and persuasiveness of psychology comes from its being a sublimated spiritualism: … Continue reading Psychology is not the be-all and end-all.
Thursday, 4 May, 1995 S, We just had to key in Nancy Wake’s entry for “Who the Fuck Cares”. Wow, bit of an awesome resume. I saw a TV program on her once, she was pretty wild in the French Resistance. You know she executed a female Nazi prisoner. I wonder if she got the taste for blood, she seemed pretty enthusiastic about the execution … Continue reading If I feel the need to flee, I’ll start acting appallingly. Maybe I should make myself a menu of atrocities to commit, in case I go blank at a critical moment.
Tuesday, 2 May, 1995 S, How’s the incubation coming along? Have you been taking measurements of your mighty girth? You really ought to you know, it’s the sort of thing you can use against the bairn when it acts up – “You know my stomach was bloated to one hundred inches because of you!! You’ve ruined my life! Get back in the cupboard you LIFE … Continue reading Guess What?! Someone unseen, someone possibly very sexy, on this day, might have found my bum fondle-worthy!
J’s Diary Entry Sunday, 30 April, 1995 It’s mid morning (10.30am) and Leah and Aidan are still in bed. I hope they’re just sleeping – thank God I never hear them doing it. I wonder if they makes jokes about me rattling around this house like an old maid with nothing better to do than spoil young people’s love-making. I feel like cleaning today. Maybe … Continue reading Cleaning can only be done incrementally. It would be an offence to all that long-standing mess to just heave it all out in one go.
J’s Diary Entry Friday, 28 April 1995 Oh God what a dreadful evening this has turned out to be. I went drinking with work folk minus Cav (who has flown to Sydney for the weekend). Simon came and I was pleased he did, he was in good, bitchy form – slagging off everyone. Nadia and her boyfriend came. I was flirting a little with Nadia, … Continue reading It’s sad and it’s childish but all I wanted was to be loved tonight. I wanted someone to kiss my neck, put their arms around my waist.
J’s Diary Entries Wednesday, 26 April, 1995 Spoke to Mum on the phone today, she had some very interesting news. Apparently S is not going to Nan and Pop’s for Christmas. Mum said in definite, emphatic tones, “S and the baby are spending Christmas with you and me, up here at my house.” (as opposed to “down there” at Nana and Pop’s) I think Mum … Continue reading There’s such an art to letting friendships fizzle out.
J’s Diary Entries Thursday 20 April, 1995 (Mum’s Birthday) From what I can gather most people’s lives are linear, they start at one end and finish at the other. I’m beginning to wonder if mine is not spiral in nature. Sometimes I feel like I’m going backwards through already chartered areas. I started in the middle and wound my way out. Then I came to … Continue reading Most people’s lives are linear. I wonder if mine is not spiral in nature.
J Diary Entry Tuesday, 21 March, 1995 Good day. Woke up early and got in to work early. Worked hard nearly all day. Stayed until 7pm talking to Cav. Talked about all the usual stuff and walked down Collins Street together. Cav explained dual sexuality to me in the context of Tessa (from work). He and I disagree about Tessa in that he thinks she’s … Continue reading We survive not on instinct, but on knowledge.
Thursday, 2 March 1995, 9:50AM S, Hi. It’s late in the week to be starting a new letter, but it’s been an uneventful week. Not much to speak of really. I’ve been trapped into going to one of Brett’s gigs tomorrow night, which is not something I look forward to, being surrounded by headbangers, trying not to get too pissed, ‘cos if you get too … Continue reading I’m an adult, and adults get their own way, that was one of the first lessons of our childhood.
Tuesday, 14 Feb 1995, 9:13am St Valentine’s Day. Where’s my fuckin’ cards? I haven’t got one damn message of desire, and it’s already quarter past nine. I haven’t got any faxes, letters, cards, taped messages – not even a nudey photo of someone I’ve never met but glanced at briefly on Parliament Train Station, Platform Four. What’s the deal here? There was only one Valentine’s … Continue reading Maybe I should get a dog. Dogs have no self esteem, that’s why they’ll do anything for you.
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