Tuesday, 3 August 1993 S, How are you? I’ve had the most fucked day in the history of fucked days. You know, it’s just one of those days where you wake up mean. I woke up before 6am and I feel like it! I fell back asleep again, but of course only just before the alarm went off, so I acted out some of my more … Continue reading I’m really cranky and make no apologies for it, so fuck ya’s all!!
Thursday, 10 June 1993 How you going Sis? How’s married life treating you? (I thought I’d get as many clichés out of the way as soon as possible.) How’s life in England? I can’t believe I’ve been back for over a month already, it doesn’t feel like it. I still feel refreshed I guess, which is good I suppose, though Winter is closing in upon … Continue reading Shut your ugly turtle face!
Friday, 19 February 1993 Dear S It’s fucking ace to hear from you, I got your aerogram today from Sue’s daughter Donna who works here too. (That’s how I got the job in the first place) Sue has been collecting the mail for us while Mum’s over in Old Blighty with you? How is she? Fussing like a maniac I’ll bet. And how are you? … Continue reading Proof Reading, Princess Turd & Dead Cats
Friday, 27 November 1992 Dear Sis, So now I am twenty. I don’t think I like it that much really, well, only when I think about it. It doesn’t occur to me most of the time. I don’t feel twenty, twenty years old, by twenty you’re supposed to be mature and all that shit. I dunno, nineteen just sounds so much younger, you know? God … Continue reading It’s enough to turn you into a Socialist
Thursday, 22 October 1992 Howdy Sis, Sorry I haven’t written in so long, but I’ve been on holidays while Mum was over there with you and I haven’t had access to a keyboard, and I’m so damn lazy these days that I really can’t write letters by hand any more. So how was Mum? She got back here last night and she seems so much … Continue reading Back when we used videos and we had to finish a roll of film before we could see the photos.
DON’T SHOW THIS TO MUM. IT CONTAINS COARSE LANGUAGE, ADULT CONCEPTS AND SOME LOW LEVEL VIOLENCE, IT IS NOT SUITABLE FOR PARENTS. SIBLING DISCRETION IS STRONGLY ADVISED. 14 September 1992 Hullo, Yet one more dull lunchtime. So tell me something thrilling. About the Royals, they’ll do. Only kidding, I mean didn’t anyone think that poor Fergie had nipples? What’s the big deal man? I went … Continue reading With love from Hellfire Club Member Number 52.
Monday, 24 August 1992 Dear Sis, Yet another boring lunchtime, nowhere to go, nothing to do, well nothing inexpensive anyway. How goes it in the Great Land of the Unwashed? Mum told me you and Jack are buying a house and maybe renting it out. Good move Big Sis, I can see you beating down the door and smacking some pensioner over the head, screaming … Continue reading My Book of Life – no platitudes or clichés here.
Friday, 14 August 1992 Dear J I hope all is well in your neck of the woods at the moment. I know that you must be busy with your job and Mum says that you spend most of the week with Leah, it sounds as if things are going well with her, Mum says she is really nice. I am trying to think if there … Continue reading Why Can’t I Be You J
Saturday, 10 August 1991 Dear S Been fairly quiet but cold lately with heaps of wind and rain. Your Mum bought new side boards and shelves for the lounge. Old stuff has gone to the antique shop they are trying to sell it for us without much luck to date though. Had new light fitting fitted in the dining room the other day. The pool pump … Continue reading A letter from my father the Narcissist
3 August, 1991 12.17am Hi-de-ho to you Sis, How goes it Ms S? You’re darned lucky to be hearing from me, you know. I am a busy man. An EMPLOYED man. A corporate assassin, climbing the treacherous ladder to success, crushing, the dreams and spirits of my underlings underfoot as I claw my way to the zenith of the publishing world, where I will bask … Continue reading I am now an employed man – my first job.
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