Our Grandmother really, really, REALLY loves “Xmas”

Wednesday, 15 December 1993 Dear S Just a few lines in with your Xmas card.  So very pleased to get your letter but sorry to hear you have been sick and in hospital S and Jack with his leg in plaster, cripes both in the wars together.  Thank you for the lovely calendar you sent us, it is beautiful and we’ll hang it in the … Continue reading Our Grandmother really, really, REALLY loves “Xmas”

Noisy Scumfilthshitturd Uni Students

Friday, 10 December 1993 S, How are you? It’s a stinking hot 32 degree day and the working mood is simply not upon me, even though I have the only personal desk fan in the office (a present from Leah).  How’s your stomach now and how’s Jack’s foot?  Thanks for the prezzies too, the Dime Bars went straight into deep cryogenic preservation to be thawed … Continue reading Noisy Scumfilthshitturd Uni Students

I’m leaving, no I’m not, yes I am. No I’m not.

Wednesday, 29 September 1993 Dear S, How was your birthday mate?  How’s it feel to be TWENTY-FIVE (as opposed to twenty)? I hope it was a good one.  How’s everything going?  Mum told me you got another job and with a good long Corporate Ladder to climb and plenty of backs to sink knives into, the way it should be.  Personally, I’m still plodding away … Continue reading I’m leaving, no I’m not, yes I am. No I’m not.

I’m really cranky and make no apologies for it, so fuck ya’s all!!

Tuesday, 3 August 1993 S, How are you?  I’ve had the most fucked day in the history of fucked days.  You know, it’s just one of those days where you wake up mean.  I woke up before 6am and I feel like it!  I fell back asleep again, but of course only just before the alarm went off, so I acted out some of my more … Continue reading I’m really cranky and make no apologies for it, so fuck ya’s all!!

Shut your ugly turtle face!

Thursday, 10 June 1993 How you going Sis? How’s married life treating you? (I thought I’d get as many clichés out of the way as soon as possible.)  How’s life in England?  I can’t believe I’ve been back for over a month already, it doesn’t feel like it.  I still feel refreshed I guess, which is good I suppose, though Winter is closing in upon … Continue reading Shut your ugly turtle face!

A thank you note from our house-sitter.

Sunday, 2 May 1993 Dear S and Jack, Welcome home.  Thanks for letting me stay here while you were honeymooning back home and in Bali. Not that time in Poo Town would count as a honeymoon in my book! I’ve had a great time, I’ve tried not to break anything, it’s a nice place S, I’m happy for you. I’ve bought a tonne of stuff … Continue reading A thank you note from our house-sitter.

Proof Reading, Princess Turd & Dead Cats

Friday, 19 February 1993 Dear S It’s fucking ace to hear from you, I got your aerogram today from Sue’s daughter Donna who works here too.  (That’s how I got the job in the first place)  Sue has been collecting the mail for us while Mum’s over in Old Blighty with you?  How is she? Fussing like a maniac I’ll bet.  And how are you?  … Continue reading Proof Reading, Princess Turd & Dead Cats

I’m not sure if marriage is going to suit me but I won’t know ’til I try.

6 January 1993 Dear J Well this must come as a big surprise to you.  Your big ugly sister actually putting pen to paper. Hope you are alive and kicking hard.  Mum says that you went to Queensland but not much else. Who did you go with?  Where to and for how long?  Nosey huh? Well it is all getting rather close now and I’m excited … Continue reading I’m not sure if marriage is going to suit me but I won’t know ’til I try.