The high stakes of deep romantic fulfillment versus soul-shredding rejection. I am going to be alone forever.

J’s Diary Entry Monday, 13 March, 1995 I’m feeling particularly industrious today. I’ve done more than usual.  I’ve done a bit of gardening, actually put my clothes away in the wardrobe and even done some work I brought home with me on Friday, wish I’d brought more home with me. The phone has rung a few times, and it was ignored, I suspect it was … Continue reading The high stakes of deep romantic fulfillment versus soul-shredding rejection. I am going to be alone forever.

I’m leaving, no I’m not, yes I am. No I’m not.

Wednesday, 29 September 1993 Dear S, How was your birthday mate?  How’s it feel to be TWENTY-FIVE (as opposed to twenty)? I hope it was a good one.  How’s everything going?  Mum told me you got another job and with a good long Corporate Ladder to climb and plenty of backs to sink knives into, the way it should be.  Personally, I’m still plodding away … Continue reading I’m leaving, no I’m not, yes I am. No I’m not.

I’m really cranky and make no apologies for it, so fuck ya’s all!!

Tuesday, 3 August 1993 S, How are you?  I’ve had the most fucked day in the history of fucked days.  You know, it’s just one of those days where you wake up mean.  I woke up before 6am and I feel like it!  I fell back asleep again, but of course only just before the alarm went off, so I acted out some of my more … Continue reading I’m really cranky and make no apologies for it, so fuck ya’s all!!