J’s Diary Entry Sunday, 25 June 1995 It’s funny how little things can have such an effect on you. I woke up early this morning, feeling over-vodka’d, and staggered down to the kitchen to gulp down freezing water to replenish my brain. I went shopping at the Little Food Mart just down the road, and I have vowed to never shop there again for fresh … Continue reading I just want people to know I’m not what I look like.
Thursday, 22 June 1995 9:06am It is so cold here today. It’s 2 degrees. Two. OK, so it’s not the loneliest number or anything but it’s close enough. It’s one of those perfectly still and clear cobalt blue mornings where your breath hangs in the air for ages. I rode one of those old W Class trams up Collins Street this morning. You know, the … Continue reading God, she was so old, I thought she might die sitting right there next to me.
Monday, 19 June 1995 3:03pm S, Dad called me at work and just told me you’ve finally named my niece – hell it only took you 9 days! Brady, (I hope I’ve got the spelling right). That’s really nice, I like Brady. So how are you coping as a new mother? Is Brady keeping you up ’til all hours? You will have her walking and … Continue reading This letter will probably get opened and read by the French Secret Service and I’ll have dodgy looking Peugeots parked outside my house for months.
Monday, 12 June, 1995 S, Wow, so you’ve had the baby. Wow. Please name her Sis, it’s kinda important. Or maybe you could wait until she’s old enough to decide for herself, that’s a novel idea. Forty-four hours hey? That’s a stretch. Gee, is this kid gonna have that hanging over her head or what? Man, did you see the list of dud relatives I … Continue reading Sis, please name your baby, it’s kinda important.
J’s Diary Entry Saturday, 10 June 1995 My sister had her baby. A girl with no name. 7lb, 12 oz, 11:45pm (UK time) 44 hour labour in all. S is Wonder Womb. The bub has curly black hair and plenty of it Mum says. I had to ring all the dud relatives, nerve-wracking experience. Christ, I am an Uncle! Today is also my one year … Continue reading I’m an Uncle to a girl with no name.
J’s Diary Entry XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX represents parts of his diary that my brother has sliced out and destroyed. Friday, 9 June 1995 Wow, what a weird night. Went over the road for drinks. I decided not to drink too much, and to this noble notion I stayed true, having only 5 neat vodkas. Most of the others got drunk, apart from Simon (who never really lets … Continue reading Bored to tears by violent tales of feline genealogy and death.
Tuesday, 6 June, 1995 5:52pm Hey Sis, WHERE IS THIS BABY? I’m waiting here. Come on woman, spit it out! It’s technically 4 days old! Stop hogging the limelight and let the little tacker out so it can shove you back in the shadows. God, I’m getting impatient, this pregnancy thing is old Sis. Bring on the Bub! Bring on the Bub! Anyway, let’s talk about … Continue reading I could write instruction manuals on how to be excessively trite, insensitive, hackneyed and flippant.
J’s Diary Entry Monday, 5 June 1995 My God! It’s so cruelly cold in my house. My hands are so cold I can hardly write. Stood in a queue today next to some Canadian guy chatting with a 50-ish Australian woman about Melbourne. He was tall, lanky, blonde, tanned and had a slight lisp, that made his s’s sound like zh’s, if you know what … Continue reading J the handyman continues his conquest of the world of hardware.
J Diary Entry Tuesday, 21 March, 1995 Good day. Woke up early and got in to work early. Worked hard nearly all day. Stayed until 7pm talking to Cav. Talked about all the usual stuff and walked down Collins Street together. Cav explained dual sexuality to me in the context of Tessa (from work). He and I disagree about Tessa in that he thinks she’s … Continue reading We survive not on instinct, but on knowledge.
Friday, 10 Feb 1995, 2:38pm OFFICE GOSSIP! Someone gave four weeks notice yesterday Sis. Her name is Kendra, she’s a desk-topper. She organizes the printed page, massages it around, makes sure the typeface is right, the pages are OK and does last minute edits. They get to fool around with all the cool machines and get paid about $4000 a year more than me. I’m toying … Continue reading I think celibacy is like greatness – some people seek it, and others have it thrust upon them.
deadmansdiaries.com 