Tag: depression

1994, Letters from J, Letters to S, Our Troublesome Father

Little Brother, our Father is dead to me so I have no problem posting this.

Friday, 18 February 1994 Dear S, I just got your letter, thanks so much.  I really needed to hear from you,  I was beginning to feel like I was committing these letters to “The Void” (wanky as it sounds.)  The prospect of all my gibberish being published one day is a bit daunting, but I’d like to see them all together, it would be a bit like … Continue reading Little Brother, our Father is dead to me so I have no problem posting this.

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1994, Letters from J, Not Sent/Received

What is stronger, my need for approval or my fear of ridicule?

THIS IS ANOTHER ONE OF THE LETTERS/WRITINGS MY BROTHER WROTE FOR ME, BUT I NEVER RECEIVED.  IT WAS AMONGST HIS DIARIES AND OTHER DOCUMENTS I FOUND AFTER HIS DEATH, HE HAD WRITTEN “NOT SENT” ON IT. IT IS DATED 16 FEB 1994 . I’ve been thinking about the nature of these letters I’ve been writing to you these last few months, and it’s kind of strange.  When I … Continue reading What is stronger, my need for approval or my fear of ridicule?

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1994, Letters from J, Not Sent/Received

Perhaps I’m simply made up entirely of what people want me to be.

THIS IS ONE OF MANY LETTERS/WRITINGS MY BROTHER WROTE FOR ME, BUT I NEVER RECEIVED.  IT WAS AMONGST HIS DIARIES AND OTHER DOCUMENTS I FOUND AFTER HIS DEATH, HE HAD WRITTEN “NOT SENT” ON IT. IT IS DATED 10 FEB 1994 AND SLOTS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE LAST LETTER HE SENT BUT HE DECIDED NOT TO INCLUDE IT, MAYBE HE FELT IT WAS TOO … Continue reading Perhaps I’m simply made up entirely of what people want me to be.

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1994, Letters from J, Letters to S

I have a need to be liked by everyone, and it can be a real drag.

Friday, 4 February 1994 Dear S, Hi, another letter to fill in another afternoon.  Spoke to Brett yesterday, he dropped in on his way home from Shiatsu.  I don’t know if you’re familiar with it but it’s an ancient form of Japanese massage healing.  It’s all to do with meridians that run through the body and how the organs relate with one another and the … Continue reading I have a need to be liked by everyone, and it can be a real drag.

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1994, Letters from J, Letters to S

The conscience is a funny thing really isn’t it?

1 Feburary, 1994 Dear S, Hi, another working day stretches endlessly to the horizon and I’m terminally bored.  How are you?  What have you been doing?  Personally, I’ve done bugger all.  As a matter of fact I don’t even have enough spare money to do bugger all, I have to do bugger half.  I caught the first episode of the new series of Absolutely Fabulous … Continue reading The conscience is a funny thing really isn’t it?

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1994, Letters from J, Letters to S

Jacuzzi’s, Vomit & Haircuts

Friday, 14 January 1994 Sis, Just a quick note to accompany this old Cleo of Leah’s I found lying around last night when I was looking for my wallet.  Actually, looking at it, I don’t think she’ll let me give it to you – it’s got the pictures of Keanu Reeves….naked!  I think she took a day off work when that one came out, wore … Continue reading Jacuzzi’s, Vomit & Haircuts

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1994, Letters from J, Letters to S

The onset of maturity lingers, like a big lingering thing.

Wednesday, 12 January 1994 S, I know I wrote a letter only yesterday, but work is so dull.  I’ve done loads and loads of work and I just can’t seem to get into the mood, maybe it’s because of lunch.  I went over the road with a few friends from work and got half pissed and now I just can’t seem to be bothered.  I … Continue reading The onset of maturity lingers, like a big lingering thing.

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1993, Letters from J, Letters to S

Noisy Scumfilthshitturd Uni Students

Friday, 10 December 1993 S, How are you? It’s a stinking hot 32 degree day and the working mood is simply not upon me, even though I have the only personal desk fan in the office (a present from Leah).  How’s your stomach now and how’s Jack’s foot?  Thanks for the prezzies too, the Dime Bars went straight into deep cryogenic preservation to be thawed … Continue reading Noisy Scumfilthshitturd Uni Students

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1993, Letters from J, Letters to S, Our Troublesome Father

I’m leaving, no I’m not, yes I am. No I’m not.

Wednesday, 29 September 1993 Dear S, How was your birthday mate?  How’s it feel to be TWENTY-FIVE (as opposed to twenty)? I hope it was a good one.  How’s everything going?  Mum told me you got another job and with a good long Corporate Ladder to climb and plenty of backs to sink knives into, the way it should be.  Personally, I’m still plodding away … Continue reading I’m leaving, no I’m not, yes I am. No I’m not.

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