Friday, 14 January 1994

Sis,

Just a quick note to accompany this old Cleo of Leah’s I found lying around last night when I was looking for my wallet.  Actually, looking at it, I don’t think she’ll let me give it to you – it’s got the pictures of Keanu Reeves….naked!  I think she took a day off work when that one came out, wore her bloody fingerprints off she did.  As a matter of fact, I’d better call her and make sure it’s OK.  If not, I’ll go and buy you a Cosmo or something.

I just got back from getting lunch (we have a buffet sort of thing at work every Friday, the boss pays) and I found a January Cleo there and guess what? It’s got knobs in it!  What a surprise! Has Cleo always been this grubby?

Monday, 17 January 1994

Well, I asked Leah and I got this stunned look, as if I’d asked for one of her kidneys or something.  She stammered out a response along the lines of “Sure, we’ll make a swap, you rip off your ten fingernails, and I’ll give you the Cleo with Keanu.”  Being rather attached to my fingernails in both senses of the word, I decided to send an old Cosmo and January Cleo from work instead.  I hope you don’t mind.

Went down to Frankston for the weekend to see Tim and Marcia.  Had a night swim in Marcia’s pool and Jacuzzi, it was great fun.  You appreciate a pool so much more when you don’t have one.  It was a cool night but the pool had the chill just taken out of it, and the hot-tub (Jacuzzi sounds too Hollywood) was great, a lot deeper than a spa, so your feet are underneath you, not in the middle with everyone else’s.  Brett came over on the Friday night too.  It was really embarrassing, Brett can come across a bit haughty.  You can tell when he’s in the room by the immediate silence.  And the really stupid part is that he whinges about not having any friends, but never makes any kind of effort to be friendly.  Who cares anyway?  Sometimes I just wish they’d all piss off.

One of my housemates might be moving out soon, Belinda has asked for a house meeting this week after we’ve paid rent, so I think she’ll be moving out with her boyfriend , Captain Dodgy.  It’ll be about the biggest mistake of her life if she does.  Poor Belinda’s really gone downhill lately.  On Saturday morning I went out to check mailbox (forgot on Friday) and she’d vomited out her bedroom window, through the security screen and onto the patio, leaving chunks stuck in the screen.  And the worst part is that it’s still there two days later.  If it’s still there tonight I’ll get rid of it myself.  I should have already, but I’m sick of doing all that sort of crap when it’s not my responsibility.  I was hoping that the mess would get so bad that they would be disgusted in themselves, but I don’t think that’s ever going to happen.  I’m thinking pretty seriously about moving out and getting a place by myself, probably breaking up with Leah too, while I’m at it.  I don’t know, I keep talking about it but never doing anything, Its mainly a fear of leaving and then discovering that I’ve made some terrible mistake,  I’m getting sick of thinking about it, to tell you the truth.

Just spoke to Mum on the phone and she brought up a really good idea.  I was telling her how sick I was of living with other people and all that, and she said that she was think of buying a unit and getting me to live in it.  That would be great, the rent would be reasonable because she knows I would look after the place and I could finally use my things.  At the moment I have half of my possessions under my bed because I can’t rely on other people to look after them.  I don’t know how I would go living by myself considering how badly I travel alone.  But then again, I would still have contact with people during the day at work, and I think I would get so much more done, as in reading, cooking, drawing, carving and so on.  Mum told me Christopher Watts rang for me yesterday too, which is really strange because I started thinking about him out of the blue on Sunday morning while I was at Tim’s.  Mum gave him my number, so I hope he rings.  I know that’s kind of regressing instead of progressing, but at least with Christopher I’ll know what I’m in for.  Maybe it’ll just be good to see a different face, and Christopher is definitely different to all the people I see at the moment.  Even if he is still a wanker, it won’t hurt to see him again.  What I’m really looking for is someone with similar interests to me.  I tell you, the prime criteria for my next girlfriend will be intelligence.  I don’t care what music she listens to or whatever, as long as she’s open minded and likes to read.

Had a really good talk with Mum actually.  She told me I should get some new friends and get a haircut (“Just try it J, just give it a go.”)  She makes me laugh sometimes, though she’s right about the new friends.  I feel like I’ve lost more friends than I’ve made over the past three years.  I am twenty-one years old and I can count on one hand the number of real friends, I have, people I actually look forward to seeing.  I’m just feeling really trapped in my life at the moment.  I have more fun here at work than I do in my spare time.  Oh well, I guess I can’t blame anyone for stuffing it up but me.

I’d better go and get some work done, enjoy your Cleo and Cosmo.

Love J xxxooo