Tag: depression

1995, Letters from J, Letters to S

I can’t seem to put my finger on it. It’s like searching for the name of the actor who played the second Darren in “Bewitched”. You know you know it, you can see his face, but the answer just won’t come to you.

Tuesday, 11 July 1995 S, I found myself softening my line on this whole Chloe thing.  I’m still racked with indecision over the whole “thing” (let’s not call it an affair). I tried tossing a coin before and then felt ashamed for being so flippant.  The Gods of Chance were in favour of the match by the way, not that that means anything.  I think … Continue reading I can’t seem to put my finger on it. It’s like searching for the name of the actor who played the second Darren in “Bewitched”. You know you know it, you can see his face, but the answer just won’t come to you.

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1995, J's Diary Entries

This is my brother, laying his shredded heart and soul bare. If you only read one of his posts please make it this one. S

J’s Diary Entry Tuesday, 4 July 1995 I’m walking down Collins Street, around 6:30pm, and I see this couple walking towards me, and I think, How do they do it? How do they make it seem so effortless?  This drifting apart and coming together again, like the sea and the shore. I don’t know how people can just meld so comfortably. I feel twisted and … Continue reading This is my brother, laying his shredded heart and soul bare. If you only read one of his posts please make it this one. S

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1995, J's Diary Entries

I fear the vulnerability of confession.

J’s Diary Entry Tuesday, 27 June 1995 Sometimes I think about how much I’d like to explain myself fully to someone.  Someone who would just sit there quietly, open and non-judging.  I’d like to explain to them how a cheery boy with a love of reading developed a penchant for books exploring the “darker regions of the soul” he had not personally acquainted himself with. … Continue reading I fear the vulnerability of confession.

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1995, J's Diary Entries

Hey, you’re not so unattractive, why are you alone?

J’s Diary Entry Thursday, 8 June 1995 Fare dodged on the tram today – always makes me feel special. Simon decided today that he’s only going to Europe for three months. He’s afraid Kerry may not still want him. It’s kinda sad. She’s too proud (it seems) to openly admit she wants him over there, and he’s too scared of rejection to rush over to … Continue reading Hey, you’re not so unattractive, why are you alone?

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1995, J's Diary Entries

J the handyman continues his conquest of the world of hardware.

J’s Diary Entry Monday, 5 June 1995 My God!  It’s so cruelly cold in my house. My hands are so cold I can hardly write. Stood in a queue today next to some Canadian guy chatting with a 50-ish Australian woman about Melbourne.  He was tall, lanky, blonde, tanned and had a slight lisp, that made his s’s sound like zh’s, if you know what … Continue reading J the handyman continues his conquest of the world of hardware.

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1995, J's Diary Entries

Drinking is neither physically, mentally or economically healthy. But I’ll keep doing it.

J’s Diary Entry Saturday, 3 June 1995 Had only 3 neat vodkas at “Klicks” last night. I feel strong and depressed and lonely as usual.  It’s a curious choice: waste $60 on a good time I can’t actually remember, or save $60 and feel strong and depressed and lonely.  I’m sort of inclined to think that if I can’t remember the good time, then what’s … Continue reading Drinking is neither physically, mentally or economically healthy. But I’ll keep doing it.

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1995, J's Diary Entries

If you leave can I come too?

J’s Diary Entry Monday 29 May 1995 A quiet day.  I actually got a lot of work done. I’m working to a deadline – Friday – now, so I’m more focused.  It was OK at work, no-one really teased me for vomiting at Nadia’s house, though Nadia did seem a bit distant.  I have a vague recollection; I went to the toilet and came out. … Continue reading If you leave can I come too?

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1995, J's Diary Entries

This artifice of depression has wormed its way into my head and, like a Swiss backpacker, has overstayed its welcome.

J’s Diary Entry Sunday, 28 May 1995 Not much of a day.  Returned some library books, did some shopping, did some washing. Cooked cous-cous, wasn’t half bad actually. Leah stayed at Aidans’s last night. They went to a 21st birthday party, Leah had some falling-out with Aidan’s Mum and came home early today.  She’s pissed off.  We went for a bit of a drive around … Continue reading This artifice of depression has wormed its way into my head and, like a Swiss backpacker, has overstayed its welcome.

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1995, Letters from J, Letters to S

My workmates have about as much sensitivity as a Russian condom.

Monday, 22 May 1995  1:38pm Dear Sis, Howdy.  I thought of you on the tram this morning.  A pregnant lady was sitting opposite me, rubbing her belly with this secretive smile.  It was a bit creepy to tell you the truth.  Then the tram conductor sat diagonally opposite me and started talking to himself as he leafed through the form guide.  He didn’t ask for … Continue reading My workmates have about as much sensitivity as a Russian condom.

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1995, J's Diary Entries

Crisis at the Croissant Connection Cafe.

J’s Diary Entry Monday, 22 May 1995 First day at work with new hair do.  God, you’d think I was levitating or something, they were so amazed. Even Cav said something from a safe distance. Had a stressful experience in Collins Place today.  In the morning I went over for some food and passed Kara, the girl with the green eyes from “Croissant Connection” that … Continue reading Crisis at the Croissant Connection Cafe.

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