Monday, 29 February 1996 Sis, It’s leap year day, last one for eight years apparently. Some glitch in the cosmos, I don’t pretend to understand. Spent the day blanched by the suffocating heat, indulging in office gossip shenanigans. I love the word shenanigans. There it is again, shenanigans, shenanigans. Made castles in Spain with Scottish Lisa in the tea room. I was going to write a … Continue reading And so my great journey across the desert of Coitus Non-Existus continues…
Saturday, 12 August 1995 11:55am S, Yeah, check that date – I’m in at work on a Saturday. And what a Saturday it is too, the mercury is set to soar to 17°, the sun is actually shining, and I’m here working. Mum’s coming in to meet me at 2pm, and after she jumps back in her horseless carriage and zooms back to “Poo Town”, … Continue reading I’m like ice-cream, delicious and sweet, but too much will make you puke.
J’s Diary Entry Saturday, 10 June 1995 My sister had her baby. A girl with no name. 7lb, 12 oz, 11:45pm (UK time) 44 hour labour in all. S is Wonder Womb. The bub has curly black hair and plenty of it Mum says. I had to ring all the dud relatives, nerve-wracking experience. Christ, I am an Uncle! Today is also my one year … Continue reading I’m an Uncle to a girl with no name.
J’s Diary Entry Thursday, 8 June 1995 Fare dodged on the tram today – always makes me feel special. Simon decided today that he’s only going to Europe for three months. He’s afraid Kerry may not still want him. It’s kinda sad. She’s too proud (it seems) to openly admit she wants him over there, and he’s too scared of rejection to rush over to … Continue reading Hey, you’re not so unattractive, why are you alone?
J’s Diary Entry Monday, 5 June 1995 My God! It’s so cruelly cold in my house. My hands are so cold I can hardly write. Stood in a queue today next to some Canadian guy chatting with a 50-ish Australian woman about Melbourne. He was tall, lanky, blonde, tanned and had a slight lisp, that made his s’s sound like zh’s, if you know what … Continue reading J the handyman continues his conquest of the world of hardware.
J’s Diary Entry Sunday, 30 April, 1995 It’s mid morning (10.30am) and Leah and Aidan are still in bed. I hope they’re just sleeping – thank God I never hear them doing it. I wonder if they makes jokes about me rattling around this house like an old maid with nothing better to do than spoil young people’s love-making. I feel like cleaning today. Maybe … Continue reading Cleaning can only be done incrementally. It would be an offence to all that long-standing mess to just heave it all out in one go.
Wednesday, 29 March, 1995, 8:37am Howdy S, Did you take notice of the date and time, specifically the time, of this letter. That’s right, I’m in early. We just went off daylight savings, so it’s not really that great a sacrifice. It does fill me with self-righteousness though, gives me a warm fuzzy feeling of moral superiority over my fellow works. “Who, me? Oh yes, … Continue reading I like to think of myself as a sensory deprivation cosmonaut.
Friday, 10 Feb 1995, 2:38pm OFFICE GOSSIP! Someone gave four weeks notice yesterday Sis. Her name is Kendra, she’s a desk-topper. She organizes the printed page, massages it around, makes sure the typeface is right, the pages are OK and does last minute edits. They get to fool around with all the cool machines and get paid about $4000 a year more than me. I’m toying … Continue reading I think celibacy is like greatness – some people seek it, and others have it thrust upon them.