Category: J’s Diary Entries

1995, J's Diary Entries

This artifice of depression has wormed its way into my head and, like a Swiss backpacker, has overstayed its welcome.

J’s Diary Entry Sunday, 28 May 1995 Not much of a day.  Returned some library books, did some shopping, did some washing. Cooked cous-cous, wasn’t half bad actually. Leah stayed at Aidans’s last night. They went to a 21st birthday party, Leah had some falling-out with Aidan’s Mum and came home early today.  She’s pissed off.  We went for a bit of a drive around … Continue reading This artifice of depression has wormed its way into my head and, like a Swiss backpacker, has overstayed its welcome.

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1995, J's Diary Entries

There’s never a black horse around when you need one.

J’s Diary Entry Friday, 26 May 1995 Whooh! Friday night drinks are getting out of control.  It started at “Klicks”.  I was feeling slightly off-colour after a lunch of quiche and was in two minds about going.  I went anyway.  Being concerned about the state of my teeth, I drank neat shots of vodka to avoid sugary mixers. A mistake.  Because there wasn’t much to them, … Continue reading There’s never a black horse around when you need one.

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1995, J's Diary Entries

Crisis at the Croissant Connection Cafe.

J’s Diary Entry Monday, 22 May 1995 First day at work with new hair do.  God, you’d think I was levitating or something, they were so amazed. Even Cav said something from a safe distance. Had a stressful experience in Collins Place today.  In the morning I went over for some food and passed Kara, the girl with the green eyes from “Croissant Connection” that … Continue reading Crisis at the Croissant Connection Cafe.

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1995, J's Diary Entries

Reincarnation is my greatest fear. That, and the dentist.

J’s Diary Entry Thursday, 18 May 1995 I said an awkward hello to Cav in the fax room today.  It lifted me for a bit, made me think or rather tacitly hope that things would go back to how they were.  I know they wont though.  Exile is a little more dignified when it’s self imposed.  I’m going to ask Caitlin if I can leave … Continue reading Reincarnation is my greatest fear. That, and the dentist.

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1995, J's Diary Entries

I decided I shouldn’t kill myself until my sister has her baby.

J’s Diary Entry Wednesday, 17 May 1995 Actually thought about someone else today.  I decided I shouldn’t kill myself until my sister has her baby.  I actually didn’t want to stress her at this point.  I wonder if anyone suspects how much it is on my mind?  I truly hope not, I don’t want their suffocating concern.  That’s why I like Simon, he’s such a … Continue reading I decided I shouldn’t kill myself until my sister has her baby.

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1995, J's Diary Entries

My new found optimism is fading badly.

J’s Diary Entry Tuesday, 16 May 1995 Trying hard to hold it together.  My new found optimism is fading badly.  Spent another day mired in ill-humour.  Christopher Watts rang me at work and invited me to the Builders Arms again. (He cancelled last time).  I rushed home, showered, caught a tram back into the City and waited for the No 86 to Bundoora.  I waited. … Continue reading My new found optimism is fading badly.

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1995, J's Diary Entries, Uncategorized

I need to get better at handling rejection. I guess I can’t make people like me.

J’s Diary Entry Monday, 15 May 1995 Just figured out I was snubbed on Friday night.  I was not invited for Friday drinks on purpose.  Jeremy blabbed.  Well, not really blabbed, but he made it obvious.  I was at the printer, and he asked me if I went straight home on Friday.  I said yes, and he said something about how he had a few … Continue reading I need to get better at handling rejection. I guess I can’t make people like me.

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1995, J's Diary Entries

I want to extend my bravado beyond these pages.

J’s Diary Entry Wednesday, 10 May 1995 My cold weather zeal has taken hold of me again.  I’ve started exercising like I mean it.  I haven’t had a “b” for a week (not long, I know, but I feel a difference) and I’m working hard at the book.  I didn’t play Tetris once on the computer today, nor did I spend hours writing to my sister. … Continue reading I want to extend my bravado beyond these pages.

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1995, J's Diary Entries

Psychology is not the be-all and end-all.

J’s Diary Entry Tuesday, 9 May 1995 “For those who live neither with religious consolations about death nor with a sense of death (or of anything else) as natural, death is the obscene mystery, the ultimate affront, the thing that cannot be controlled.  It can only be denied.  A large part of the popularity and persuasiveness of psychology comes from its being a sublimated spiritualism: … Continue reading Psychology is not the be-all and end-all.

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