J’s Diary Entry Friday, 7 July 1995 I don’t want to do anything about Chloe unless I am completely sure that I won’t be rejected. And there’s the question of whether she’ll want me once she knows more about me. Self-mutilators don’t get much good press you know. And there’s the whole sex/performance thing which so poisoned the air between Leah and I. What if … Continue reading What if I wig out in the bedroom and she tells people?
J’s Diary Entry Tuesday, 4 July 1995 I’m walking down Collins Street, around 6:30pm, and I see this couple walking towards me, and I think, How do they do it? How do they make it seem so effortless? This drifting apart and coming together again, like the sea and the shore. I don’t know how people can just meld so comfortably. I feel twisted and … Continue reading This is my brother, laying his shredded heart and soul bare. If you only read one of his posts please make it this one. S
J’s Diary Entry Tuesday, 27 June 1995 Sometimes I think about how much I’d like to explain myself fully to someone. Someone who would just sit there quietly, open and non-judging. I’d like to explain to them how a cheery boy with a love of reading developed a penchant for books exploring the “darker regions of the soul” he had not personally acquainted himself with. … Continue reading I fear the vulnerability of confession.
J’s Diary Entry Sunday, 25 June 1995 It’s funny how little things can have such an effect on you. I woke up early this morning, feeling over-vodka’d, and staggered down to the kitchen to gulp down freezing water to replenish my brain. I went shopping at the Little Food Mart just down the road, and I have vowed to never shop there again for fresh … Continue reading I just want people to know I’m not what I look like.
J’s Diary Entry Saturday, 10 June 1995 My sister had her baby. A girl with no name. 7lb, 12 oz, 11:45pm (UK time) 44 hour labour in all. S is Wonder Womb. The bub has curly black hair and plenty of it Mum says. I had to ring all the dud relatives, nerve-wracking experience. Christ, I am an Uncle! Today is also my one year … Continue reading I’m an Uncle to a girl with no name.
J’s Diary Entry XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX represents parts of his diary that my brother has sliced out and destroyed. Friday, 9 June 1995 Wow, what a weird night. Went over the road for drinks. I decided not to drink too much, and to this noble notion I stayed true, having only 5 neat vodkas. Most of the others got drunk, apart from Simon (who never really lets … Continue reading Bored to tears by violent tales of feline genealogy and death.
J’s Diary Entry Thursday, 8 June 1995 Fare dodged on the tram today – always makes me feel special. Simon decided today that he’s only going to Europe for three months. He’s afraid Kerry may not still want him. It’s kinda sad. She’s too proud (it seems) to openly admit she wants him over there, and he’s too scared of rejection to rush over to … Continue reading Hey, you’re not so unattractive, why are you alone?
J’s Diary Entry Monday, 5 June 1995 My God! It’s so cruelly cold in my house. My hands are so cold I can hardly write. Stood in a queue today next to some Canadian guy chatting with a 50-ish Australian woman about Melbourne. He was tall, lanky, blonde, tanned and had a slight lisp, that made his s’s sound like zh’s, if you know what … Continue reading J the handyman continues his conquest of the world of hardware.
J’s Diary Entry Saturday, 3 June 1995 Had only 3 neat vodkas at “Klicks” last night. I feel strong and depressed and lonely as usual. It’s a curious choice: waste $60 on a good time I can’t actually remember, or save $60 and feel strong and depressed and lonely. I’m sort of inclined to think that if I can’t remember the good time, then what’s … Continue reading Drinking is neither physically, mentally or economically healthy. But I’ll keep doing it.
J’s Diary Entry Monday 29 May 1995 A quiet day. I actually got a lot of work done. I’m working to a deadline – Friday – now, so I’m more focused. It was OK at work, no-one really teased me for vomiting at Nadia’s house, though Nadia did seem a bit distant. I have a vague recollection; I went to the toilet and came out. … Continue reading If you leave can I come too?
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