Author: Dead Mans Diaries

I am S. Sister to a fabulous brother and a sibling of suicide. Dead Mans Diaries is a memoir told through our letters, diaries and artwork. https://deadmansdiaries.wordpress.com/about/ Beautiful Echo Chambers is a blog where you can find inspiration, something interesting to read, something to make you think, laugh and feel from all sorts of fabulous blogs. As my brother would have said "Something to fill my echo chamber with Sis". https://beautifulechochambers.wordpress.com/
1995, J's Diary Entries

This is my brother, laying his shredded heart and soul bare. If you only read one of his posts please make it this one. S

J’s Diary Entry Tuesday, 4 July 1995 I’m walking down Collins Street, around 6:30pm, and I see this couple walking towards me, and I think, How do they do it? How do they make it seem so effortless?  This drifting apart and coming together again, like the sea and the shore. I don’t know how people can just meld so comfortably. I feel twisted and … Continue reading This is my brother, laying his shredded heart and soul bare. If you only read one of his posts please make it this one. S

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1995, Letters from J, Letters to S

I even had on a mohair jumper! But all to no avail.

Monday, 3 July 1995  12:28pm S, Howdy.  Another heater-hugging morning down in the Antipodes.  I’ve got my big bulky coat on and The Stone Roses in my Walkman and I’m feeling nice and cosy.  I actually went to that party I was telling you about in my last letter.  It was in Richmond, between two factories.  Simon came over about 8pm with half a slab … Continue reading I even had on a mohair jumper! But all to no avail.

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1995, Letters from J, Letters to S

I’ve read that beautiful chicks think that being beautiful is enough in itself, and they don’t put in any effort in the sack.

Friday, 30 June, 1995 9:30am Hi Sis, So, how about Hugh Grant’s little brush with the seedy underbelly of urban America?  Poor bloke, he’s really blown it (couldn’t resist, sorry). I feel a bit sorry for him, did you see the look on his face in that mug shot? It must be on the front page of every rag in England.  Everyone here keeps saying … Continue reading I’ve read that beautiful chicks think that being beautiful is enough in itself, and they don’t put in any effort in the sack.

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1995, Letters from J, Letters to S

I’m writing to you from the belly of the beast.

Tuesday, 27 June 1995 8:04am Good morning, At least, it is here anyway.  I’m in early, kudos to me, kudos to me.  I woke up at 5am, listened to the radio for a while, and, seized with expiatory zeal, I thought I’d come in early to make recompense for my days of wayward bludging earlier this year.  Truth is I couldn’t get back to sleep … Continue reading I’m writing to you from the belly of the beast.

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1995, J's Diary Entries

I fear the vulnerability of confession.

J’s Diary Entry Tuesday, 27 June 1995 Sometimes I think about how much I’d like to explain myself fully to someone.  Someone who would just sit there quietly, open and non-judging.  I’d like to explain to them how a cheery boy with a love of reading developed a penchant for books exploring the “darker regions of the soul” he had not personally acquainted himself with. … Continue reading I fear the vulnerability of confession.

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1995, Letter from Grandparents, Letters to S

Did you name our great granddaughter after a dog?

27 June 1995 Dear S, Jack and Brady, We received the two sheets of photos yesterday, thanks ever so much.  Dear little Brady is beautiful and like all new babies not so keen on her bath I see.  She is a lovely plump little girl.  I see her very much like you Jack but also see you too S, but a real little girl.  Some … Continue reading Did you name our great granddaughter after a dog?

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1995, J's Diary Entries

I just want people to know I’m not what I look like.

J’s Diary Entry Sunday, 25 June 1995 It’s funny how little things can have such an effect on you.  I woke up early this morning, feeling over-vodka’d, and staggered down to the kitchen to gulp down freezing water to replenish my brain.  I went shopping at the Little Food Mart just down the road, and I have vowed to never shop there again for fresh … Continue reading I just want people to know I’m not what I look like.

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1995, Letters from J, Letters to S

God, she was so old, I thought she might die sitting right there next to me.

Thursday, 22 June 1995 9:06am It is so cold here today. It’s 2 degrees. Two. OK, so it’s not the loneliest number or anything but it’s close enough. It’s one of those perfectly still and clear cobalt blue mornings where your breath hangs in the air for ages. I rode one of those old W Class trams up Collins Street this morning.  You know, the … Continue reading God, she was so old, I thought she might die sitting right there next to me.

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1995, Letters from J, Letters to S

This letter will probably get opened and read by the French Secret Service and I’ll have dodgy looking Peugeots parked outside my house for months.

Monday, 19 June 1995 3:03pm S, Dad called me at work and just told me you’ve finally named my niece – hell it only took you 9 days!  Brady, (I hope I’ve got the spelling right). That’s really nice, I like Brady.  So how are you coping as a new mother? Is Brady keeping you up ’til all hours? You will have her walking and … Continue reading This letter will probably get opened and read by the French Secret Service and I’ll have dodgy looking Peugeots parked outside my house for months.

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