I’m a prisoner of urban sterility. I feel like doing something ridiculous – yep I’m gonna sit on the grass!

Thursday, 17 August 1995 9:07am S Geez, it’s been busy here, we’ve only got ’til Monday until the final “Who The Fuck Cares” proof comes out.  And I’ve been stressed to death trying to work up the gumption to ask for a raise.  It’s so difficult, how do you do it?  Do you have a particular mantra that you intone in an undertone as you … Continue reading I’m a prisoner of urban sterility. I feel like doing something ridiculous – yep I’m gonna sit on the grass!

I have to laugh at so many crap jokes in the course of my day, just to stroke the egos of others. I could sigh my insides out.

Tuesday, 1 August 1995 12:03pm S, I did write half a letter yesterday, but the computer froze and I lost it all.  Damn frustrating you know.  I guess I’ll start by recounting the weekend. Friday night there was going-away drinks for Keely, our longest-serving editor.  She had been here five years, which is only one up on me incidentally.  We went to “Klicks” and sprawled … Continue reading I have to laugh at so many crap jokes in the course of my day, just to stroke the egos of others. I could sigh my insides out.

If everything is pointless, why not do anything, absolutely anything?

Wednesday, 26 July 1995 9:11am Howdy S, Another day.  Woke up late, no time to make my lunch.  Crept into my clothes, sleep unfurling smokily from my back as the tram sped me down Flemington Road.  And now here I am again, at this desk, blank as a soldier.  What difference does any of it make anyhow?  We’re all of us just big old sacks … Continue reading If everything is pointless, why not do anything, absolutely anything?

I feel like the neglected girl-next-door, too plain, too sedentary.

J has cut out and completely removed three quarters of this page – all that remains is what he wrote at the bottom which follows. J’s Diary Entry  – Tuesday, 25 July 1995 Cav’s going to Canberra for a job interview tomorrow.  He’ll get the job, and he’ll leave (me) and go on to a fabulous life, never looking back.  I feel like the neglected girl-next-door, … Continue reading I feel like the neglected girl-next-door, too plain, too sedentary.

My backup plan: become a surfer-bum, cruising the coast with a car-full of defactoes and kids on welfare or perhaps start a pirate whaling operation off the coast of Indonesia.

Tuesday, 25 July 1997 9:11am S, Well you know I’m in a better mood this morning missy.  I’se be ridin’ that caffeine wave of goodness, surgin’ up and carryin’ me forth inta the day. Yessa.  Sorry, can’t help writing in South Carolina-speak, I’m in a good mood, and I’ve been reading the second story in that Kerouac book I bought. It’s called “Pic” and it’s … Continue reading My backup plan: become a surfer-bum, cruising the coast with a car-full of defactoes and kids on welfare or perhaps start a pirate whaling operation off the coast of Indonesia.

I’ve been living in dreamland Sis, and now I wake to find the hound of reality with its jaws planted firmly in the wobbily expanse of my ass.

Monday, 24 July 1995 11:19am S, Christ, I’ve got to get out of here Sis. I’ve got to leave work.  I’m so sick of it here, I’m at the point where every little daily injustice outrages me to the point where I feel like my moral soul is being massaged by a cheese grater.  I can’t fucking stand it anymore. If I had a job … Continue reading I’ve been living in dreamland Sis, and now I wake to find the hound of reality with its jaws planted firmly in the wobbily expanse of my ass.

In homage to the great Victor Frankenstein I’m going to make me a chocolate woman with Maltesers for eyes.

Tuesday, 18 July 1995 9:11am Hi Sis, I spoke to Leah on the phone last night and conveyed my growing enthusiasm for this Chloe “thing”. She’s going to snoop for me later on in the week.  Last night she was more concerned with locating the luggage that Australian Airlines kindly lost for her.  They think it’s in Sydney.  She also told me that she thinks … Continue reading In homage to the great Victor Frankenstein I’m going to make me a chocolate woman with Maltesers for eyes.

It’s no coincidence that sexy chicks always work in music shops, it’s a sadistic plan to make you feel embarrassed about buying daggy music.

Thursday 13 July 1995 9:19am Sis, I got smiled at on the tram this morning. Some blonde lady with dark blue eyes smiled at me as the boisterous conductor carried on trumpeting for tickets or something.  I actually didn’t hear him properly, and just looked up from my Herman Hesse novel to see this lady smiling at me.  I hesitated dumbly, then gave a thin, … Continue reading It’s no coincidence that sexy chicks always work in music shops, it’s a sadistic plan to make you feel embarrassed about buying daggy music.

I can’t seem to put my finger on it. It’s like searching for the name of the actor who played the second Darren in “Bewitched”. You know you know it, you can see his face, but the answer just won’t come to you.

Tuesday, 11 July 1995 S, I found myself softening my line on this whole Chloe thing.  I’m still racked with indecision over the whole “thing” (let’s not call it an affair). I tried tossing a coin before and then felt ashamed for being so flippant.  The Gods of Chance were in favour of the match by the way, not that that means anything.  I think … Continue reading I can’t seem to put my finger on it. It’s like searching for the name of the actor who played the second Darren in “Bewitched”. You know you know it, you can see his face, but the answer just won’t come to you.

I tell you Sis, this freezing weather really makes me respect English streakers.

Monday, 10 July 1995 1:11pm S, Oh-my-God-oh-my-God it is so Goddamn cold here I’ll be lucky to make it home with all my extremities.  I tell you Sis, this weather really makes me respect English streakers.  You have to have enormous dedication to the cause of public nudity to get your gear off in this type of weather.  It’s like 4 degrees here. I’m so … Continue reading I tell you Sis, this freezing weather really makes me respect English streakers.