Tuesday, 18 July 1995 9:11am

Hi Sis,

I spoke to Leah on the phone last night and conveyed my growing enthusiasm for this Chloe “thing”. She’s going to snoop for me later on in the week.  Last night she was more concerned with locating the luggage that Australian Airlines kindly lost for her.  They think it’s in Sydney.  She also told me that she thinks she’s outgrown her boyfriend Aidan.  She said she’s tired of the, shall we say, youthful conversation.  She told me she was even checking out the male flight attendants.  Poor thing, I had to clue her in on the special nature of male flight attendants – unnatural passions, as Aunty Mim might say. There is an age difference of 7 years, poor young Aidan.

Wednesday, 19 July 1995 9:05am

I think I’m gonna forsake this Chloe thing now.  I dunno, I just woke up this morning with a feeling of forboding about the whole deal.  Over my Collins Place coffee, surrounded by bird droppings and morning TV, I came up with a better idea.  In homage to the great Victor Frankenstein I’m going to make me a chocolate woman, with Maltesers for eyes and Allen’s Snakes Alive for hair.  Each toe will be a candy banana, and she’ll have a 3 foot strap of liquorice for a tongue.  And she’ll be mine, all mine.  I guess I’ll have to move to a cooler climate though, she might not handle the hot weather too well.  Then again, if she melts, I don’t have to worry about breaking up with her – how convenient!  Hell, I could sell these chocky chicks. Seriously though, I think I’ll pass on Chloe. I realised on the tram this morning that all my little romantic fantasies and scenarios are just that – fantasies and scenarios.  My juvenile dreams wont’t spring into reality and unfurl like a roll of Presidential red carpet for me to stroll down.  It’ll be horrible and stressful like everything else.  I know that’s ripe with self-pity and fatalism, but who gives a fuck?  Better to pre-empt it than live through it I say.  Hell, I’ll probably change my mind in half an hour anyway.

Thursday, 20 July 1995 9:11am

Mum rang, she’s safely back in the land of Oz.  She said she’s gonna come over and show me all the photo’s and video sometime next week.

Oh yeah, I’ve changed my mind on the Chloe “thing” again, I’m for it now.  God, I just can’t help it. It’s worse than indecision. At least indecision is a constant, you know, you’re always unsure. I fly from one conviction to the other pell-mell, it can be a bit disorienting to tell the truth Sis. I figure I have to go ahead with it or I’ll just stagnate forever.  Not very romantic is it?  Oh well, never claimed to be chivalrous, never claimed to be passionate, never claimed to be straightforward.

I’d better go. Write me a letter dammit.

Love J

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