I kept my lips and teeth clenched together like a terrified clam.

From: J Date: 30 September 2002 01:36 To: S Subject: Ooh Lawdy, here we go! Hey Sis. How are you?  Well, bugger you, let’s talk about me and all my lovers! First lemme tell you about my midnight ATTACK (that might be overstating things just a tad) on Church Street at the hands of the Homely Homo, a former work colleague of mine. He’s 39, … Continue reading I kept my lips and teeth clenched together like a terrified clam.

He’s got alcohol in his genes.

Author: ‘Mum’ Date: 08/02/96  3:17PM Priority: Normal To: ‘S’ Subject:   Dear All, It’s raining like you wouldn’t believe today. Tuesday was 15°, Wednesday was 36° and today is 12° and wet, wet, wet. No wonder everyone is coming down ill. Today wasn’t much better at work.  The only problem is if I leave, I won’t be able to communicate via email and that will … Continue reading He’s got alcohol in his genes.

Bloody freeloading Australian backpackers.

Author: ‘Mum’ Date: 20/10/95  3:51 PM Priority: Normal To: ‘S’ Subject: So glad to hear going back to work wasn’t too traumatic for you or Brady. I am pleased that Brady likes it at Tracey’s and gets along with little Eleanor. It must be a big relief for you. Aunty Tia is much better and sparking on all fours again. Will probably be home today. … Continue reading Bloody freeloading Australian backpackers.

You do know what a petit four is, don’t you?

Author: Mum Date: 09/10/95  2:44PM Priority: Normal To: ‘S’ Subject:   Dear S, Jack and Brady, Before I forget, will you please change the address on my bank accounts at Barclays, because the statements will go to your old house.  I went to choose the paint for the back bedroom yesterday, so my beautiful granddaughter will have a lovely fresh room to sleep in when … Continue reading You do know what a petit four is, don’t you?