There’s no point in expecting anything from pointlessness.

Friday, 8 September 1995, 9:41PM Hey Sis. I’m all jittery, just had an unpleasant experience. My book was quoted as a source in the Australian Financial Review today, in a full page piece on Coles Myer (there’s intrigue galore there, even secret diaries have come out).  Hundreds of thousands of people would have read that article Sis. I’m quaking with fear. Now I’m starting to … Continue reading There’s no point in expecting anything from pointlessness.

I think I might have peaked as far as socializing goes.

Wednesday, 30 August 1995 9:23am Great start to the morning, Sis.  I get in to work and there’s an invitation to a party on my desk.  Lisa (one of the other Editors here) is having a house-cooling (as opposed to house-warming party.”)  And – dammit! – they’ve given me too much notice to have a bogus excuse – “Oh sorry, the second of September?  I’ve … Continue reading I think I might have peaked as far as socializing goes.

Tattoos are just too permanent. [Unlike suicide]

Thursday, 24 August 1995 10:47am Morning O’ Sis of mine, I’ve been reading this Strachey book “Eminent Victorians” and there’s this biography of Cardinal Manning of the English Catholic Church, and you know, I think I would have been splendid in the service of our Lord – especially with my natural proclivity for abstinence from the comforts of the flesh.  Can you see me in … Continue reading Tattoos are just too permanent. [Unlike suicide]

I’m a prisoner of urban sterility. I feel like doing something ridiculous – yep I’m gonna sit on the grass!

Thursday, 17 August 1995 9:07am S Geez, it’s been busy here, we’ve only got ’til Monday until the final “Who The Fuck Cares” proof comes out.  And I’ve been stressed to death trying to work up the gumption to ask for a raise.  It’s so difficult, how do you do it?  Do you have a particular mantra that you intone in an undertone as you … Continue reading I’m a prisoner of urban sterility. I feel like doing something ridiculous – yep I’m gonna sit on the grass!

If everything is pointless, why not do anything, absolutely anything?

Wednesday, 26 July 1995 9:11am Howdy S, Another day.  Woke up late, no time to make my lunch.  Crept into my clothes, sleep unfurling smokily from my back as the tram sped me down Flemington Road.  And now here I am again, at this desk, blank as a soldier.  What difference does any of it make anyhow?  We’re all of us just big old sacks … Continue reading If everything is pointless, why not do anything, absolutely anything?

My backup plan: become a surfer-bum, cruising the coast with a car-full of defactoes and kids on welfare or perhaps start a pirate whaling operation off the coast of Indonesia.

Tuesday, 25 July 1997 9:11am S, Well you know I’m in a better mood this morning missy.  I’se be ridin’ that caffeine wave of goodness, surgin’ up and carryin’ me forth inta the day. Yessa.  Sorry, can’t help writing in South Carolina-speak, I’m in a good mood, and I’ve been reading the second story in that Kerouac book I bought. It’s called “Pic” and it’s … Continue reading My backup plan: become a surfer-bum, cruising the coast with a car-full of defactoes and kids on welfare or perhaps start a pirate whaling operation off the coast of Indonesia.

Nice chatting to you Sis.

XXXX represents the parts of his diaries that J has cut out and destroyed.   J’s Diary Entry Friday, 21 July 1995 S rang tonight, she was after the phone number of a florist in “Poo Town”.  I heard Brady crying in the background.  It was a nice chat, I got inordinately excited, I wonder if Leah noticed, and if so, what she thought of it. … Continue reading Nice chatting to you Sis.

I just don’t have the disciplinary wherewith-all to drag myself from my sluggish, sedentary, couch-hogging, remote-control-fondling torpor.

Friday 14 July 1995 9:22am Howdy Sis, It’s Friday, and it’s warm, and I have a nice bouncy song from the radio reverberating around my echo-chamber skull.  I’m in a good mood.  Watched barely any TV last night, spent all of it on the couch reading a book on Japan that I borrowed from the library.  It gives a broad outline of the religions (their … Continue reading I just don’t have the disciplinary wherewith-all to drag myself from my sluggish, sedentary, couch-hogging, remote-control-fondling torpor.

This is my brother, laying his shredded heart and soul bare. If you only read one of his posts please make it this one. S

J’s Diary Entry Tuesday, 4 July 1995 I’m walking down Collins Street, around 6:30pm, and I see this couple walking towards me, and I think, How do they do it? How do they make it seem so effortless?  This drifting apart and coming together again, like the sea and the shore. I don’t know how people can just meld so comfortably. I feel twisted and … Continue reading This is my brother, laying his shredded heart and soul bare. If you only read one of his posts please make it this one. S