From: S Date: 16 August 2002 11:23 AM To: J Subject: Hi Babe, Mum got off last night all ok. God the guilt I feel, how is it at the age of 33 our parents can still mind fuck me. Mum’s sport it would seem is to mess with my psychological state. I miss her when I don’t see her but am decimated by her … Continue reading But I’m just a cold fish.
Tuesday, 27 June 1995 8:04am Good morning, At least, it is here anyway. I’m in early, kudos to me, kudos to me. I woke up at 5am, listened to the radio for a while, and, seized with expiatory zeal, I thought I’d come in early to make recompense for my days of wayward bludging earlier this year. Truth is I couldn’t get back to sleep … Continue reading I’m writing to you from the belly of the beast.
THIS IS ONE OF J’s DIARY ENTRIES I HAVE WRITTEN OF IN THE “ABOUT” PAGE. I COULD NOT REPLICATE THE CUT OUTS USING WORDPRESS SO I HAVE SCANNED A WORD DOCUMENT USING BLACKOUT TO REPRESENT THE PIECES MY BROTHER EXPERTLY REMOVED. I DO NOT KNOW WHY HE DID THIS AND WOULD GRATEFULLY LISTEN TO ANY THEORIES. WHY WOULD J WRITE SO CANDIDLY IN HIS DIARIES FOR … Continue reading I don’t want to be a nut case.
Friday, 11 March 1994 Dear S, Well, your little brother has taken another baby step towards the mantle of adulthood. This very morn I got my Learners Permit to drive. It was bloody easy. Leah timed me, a total of eight minutes. I think it was because there’s so much information in the booklet, that I thought the test would have to be at least … Continue reading Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, but it’s such a release!
THIS IS ANOTHER ONE OF THE LETTERS/WRITINGS MY BROTHER WROTE FOR ME, BUT I NEVER RECEIVED. IT WAS AMONGST HIS DIARIES AND OTHER DOCUMENTS I FOUND AFTER HIS DEATH, HE HAD WRITTEN “NOT SENT” ON IT. IT IS DATED 16 FEB 1994 . I’ve been thinking about the nature of these letters I’ve been writing to you these last few months, and it’s kind of strange. When I … Continue reading What is stronger, my need for approval or my fear of ridicule?