This letter will probably get opened and read by the French Secret Service and I’ll have dodgy looking Peugeots parked outside my house for months.

Monday, 19 June 1995 3:03pm S, Dad called me at work and just told me you’ve finally named my niece – hell it only took you 9 days!  Brady, (I hope I’ve got the spelling right). That’s really nice, I like Brady.  So how are you coping as a new mother? Is Brady keeping you up ’til all hours? You will have her walking and … Continue reading This letter will probably get opened and read by the French Secret Service and I’ll have dodgy looking Peugeots parked outside my house for months.

I could write instruction manuals on how to be excessively trite, insensitive, hackneyed and flippant.

Tuesday, 6 June, 1995 5:52pm Hey Sis, WHERE IS THIS BABY?  I’m waiting here.  Come on woman, spit it out!  It’s technically 4 days old!  Stop hogging the limelight and let the little tacker out so it can shove you back in the shadows.  God, I’m getting impatient, this pregnancy thing is old Sis.  Bring on the Bub!  Bring on the Bub! Anyway, let’s talk about … Continue reading I could write instruction manuals on how to be excessively trite, insensitive, hackneyed and flippant.

Remember Kids, Floss or Die!

Monday, 21 March 1994 Hey Sis, How you doing?  Personally, I’m fine and knot-free.  Yes, that’s right, I’m now totally dread-less.  I’ve combed them all out, I can now run a comb through every square inch of my lumpy head of hair.  Mum will be pleased.  I’m seeing her tonight, I’m off to the dentist for four more fillings so back to Poo Town and … Continue reading Remember Kids, Floss or Die!

Tonya Harding skates like a lumberjack with undies full of sand.

Tuesday, 1 March 1994 Dear S, I know I wrote only yesterday, but I need a holiday from work and I just can’t seem to wrap my head around the tasks at hand, so I thought I’d just start another one.  Actually, I’ve got the pre-dentist jitters and I want to take my mind off it. I’m booked in tonight at 6.30, so I’ll be … Continue reading Tonya Harding skates like a lumberjack with undies full of sand.