Monday, 24 August 1992 Dear Sis, Yet another boring lunchtime, nowhere to go, nothing to do, well nothing inexpensive anyway. How goes it in the Great Land of the Unwashed? Mum told me you and Jack are buying a house and maybe renting it out. Good move Big Sis, I can see you beating down the door and smacking some pensioner over the head, screaming … Continue reading My Book of Life – no platitudes or clichés here.
Tuesday, 18 August 1992 Hey Sis, Your second letter in two days! It’s just that I only get half an hour for lunch so by the time I actually get anywhere it’s always time to come back so I figured I’d start another letter, it burns time. It’s Mara’s 21st party thingy on Saturday night, something I’m not looking forward to. Ma says it’s formal … Continue reading It’s not my party, but I’m still gonna cry about it.
Friday, 14 August 1992 Dear J I hope all is well in your neck of the woods at the moment. I know that you must be busy with your job and Mum says that you spend most of the week with Leah, it sounds as if things are going well with her, Mum says she is really nice. I am trying to think if there … Continue reading Why Can’t I Be You J
7 August, 1992 Howdy Sis, How you going? I’m at work and I’m hung-over as hell and I just can’t face having to speak to business knobs’ secretaries with all the charisma of lobotomized Alsatians, so I thought I’d write a long overdue letter to my Sis. Watcha been doin’? I went out last night with Donovan (remember him? the tall one with all the hair) … Continue reading Potato Cakes & Vodka
7 February 1992 Dear S I know that this is going to be the hardest letter I have ever had to write. I have asked your Dad to leave the house. The reason for this is that on Thursday night of last week I had been out and have had a feeling for some time that Dad was still seeing Lilith. I drove around to … Continue reading Bad news letters from mum are always hand written.
Friday, 1 November 1991 8:14pm Dear Jewel of My Universe, Howe bee youe? You’re letter was fulle of ye olde Englishe slange so I assume ye transition to the land of Pomp and Splendour is complete, ande yae verily have I adjusted my texte soe ye wille bee ablee to reade ite. Haaah! funny eh? How are you? I just had a letter telling me … Continue reading Caught smoking “Geraniums” by Mum and Dad.
Saturday, 10 August 1991 Dear S Been fairly quiet but cold lately with heaps of wind and rain. Your Mum bought new side boards and shelves for the lounge. Old stuff has gone to the antique shop they are trying to sell it for us without much luck to date though. Had new light fitting fitted in the dining room the other day. The pool pump … Continue reading A letter from my father the Narcissist
3 August, 1991 12.17am Hi-de-ho to you Sis, How goes it Ms S? You’re darned lucky to be hearing from me, you know. I am a busy man. An EMPLOYED man. A corporate assassin, climbing the treacherous ladder to success, crushing, the dreams and spirits of my underlings underfoot as I claw my way to the zenith of the publishing world, where I will bask … Continue reading I am now an employed man – my first job.
Saturday, 13 Jul 1991 9:00pm after phone call Dear S It was great to talk to you, please apologise to Jack, because I was getting some echo and I was a bit confused, I didn’t really speak to him, just asked to speak to you. He probably thinks I am really ignorant. I am pleased you haven’t resigned yet. It is always easier to get … Continue reading This dot mattress printer is very noisy!
9 July 1991 Dear S I am writing or rather typing, or rather word processing this to you on our NEW computer which we got today. I have just realised that it does not seem to justify the lines really well like WordStar. I am getting WordStar loaded onto it, but will have to get someone from school/work to help me with that. This little … Continue reading Mum’s got a computer now…..
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