Category: Letters from J

1995, Letters from J, Letters to S

I tell you Sis, this freezing weather really makes me respect English streakers.

Monday, 10 July 1995 1:11pm S, Oh-my-God-oh-my-God it is so Goddamn cold here I’ll be lucky to make it home with all my extremities.  I tell you Sis, this weather really makes me respect English streakers.  You have to have enormous dedication to the cause of public nudity to get your gear off in this type of weather.  It’s like 4 degrees here. I’m so … Continue reading I tell you Sis, this freezing weather really makes me respect English streakers.

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1995, Letters from J, Letters to S

All good tools have the word “power” in their title.

Wednesday, 5 July 1995 4:02pm S Got my Group Tax Certificate today.  I earned $27,500 last financial year.  That’s $2,500 more than Simon, and we’re on the same wage.  It comes from all that overtime I did last year when I came close to burnout.  All that effort, and I don’t really feel $2,500 richer.  It does make me, paradoxically, want to make some more … Continue reading All good tools have the word “power” in their title.

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1995, Letters from J, Letters to S

I even had on a mohair jumper! But all to no avail.

Monday, 3 July 1995  12:28pm S, Howdy.  Another heater-hugging morning down in the Antipodes.  I’ve got my big bulky coat on and The Stone Roses in my Walkman and I’m feeling nice and cosy.  I actually went to that party I was telling you about in my last letter.  It was in Richmond, between two factories.  Simon came over about 8pm with half a slab … Continue reading I even had on a mohair jumper! But all to no avail.

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1995, Letters from J, Letters to S

I’ve read that beautiful chicks think that being beautiful is enough in itself, and they don’t put in any effort in the sack.

Friday, 30 June, 1995 9:30am Hi Sis, So, how about Hugh Grant’s little brush with the seedy underbelly of urban America?  Poor bloke, he’s really blown it (couldn’t resist, sorry). I feel a bit sorry for him, did you see the look on his face in that mug shot? It must be on the front page of every rag in England.  Everyone here keeps saying … Continue reading I’ve read that beautiful chicks think that being beautiful is enough in itself, and they don’t put in any effort in the sack.

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1995, Letters from J, Letters to S

I’m writing to you from the belly of the beast.

Tuesday, 27 June 1995 8:04am Good morning, At least, it is here anyway.  I’m in early, kudos to me, kudos to me.  I woke up at 5am, listened to the radio for a while, and, seized with expiatory zeal, I thought I’d come in early to make recompense for my days of wayward bludging earlier this year.  Truth is I couldn’t get back to sleep … Continue reading I’m writing to you from the belly of the beast.

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1995, Letters from J, Letters to S

God, she was so old, I thought she might die sitting right there next to me.

Thursday, 22 June 1995 9:06am It is so cold here today. It’s 2 degrees. Two. OK, so it’s not the loneliest number or anything but it’s close enough. It’s one of those perfectly still and clear cobalt blue mornings where your breath hangs in the air for ages. I rode one of those old W Class trams up Collins Street this morning.  You know, the … Continue reading God, she was so old, I thought she might die sitting right there next to me.

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1995, Letters from J, Letters to S

This letter will probably get opened and read by the French Secret Service and I’ll have dodgy looking Peugeots parked outside my house for months.

Monday, 19 June 1995 3:03pm S, Dad called me at work and just told me you’ve finally named my niece – hell it only took you 9 days!  Brady, (I hope I’ve got the spelling right). That’s really nice, I like Brady.  So how are you coping as a new mother? Is Brady keeping you up ’til all hours? You will have her walking and … Continue reading This letter will probably get opened and read by the French Secret Service and I’ll have dodgy looking Peugeots parked outside my house for months.

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1995, Letters from J, Letters to S

Sis, please name your baby, it’s kinda important.

Monday, 12 June, 1995 S, Wow, so you’ve had the baby.  Wow.  Please name her Sis, it’s kinda important. Or maybe you could wait until she’s old enough to decide for herself, that’s a novel idea. Forty-four hours hey? That’s a stretch. Gee, is this kid gonna have that hanging over her head or what? Man, did you see the list of dud relatives I … Continue reading Sis, please name your baby, it’s kinda important.

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1995, Letters from J, Letters to S

I could write instruction manuals on how to be excessively trite, insensitive, hackneyed and flippant.

Tuesday, 6 June, 1995 5:52pm Hey Sis, WHERE IS THIS BABY?  I’m waiting here.  Come on woman, spit it out!  It’s technically 4 days old!  Stop hogging the limelight and let the little tacker out so it can shove you back in the shadows.  God, I’m getting impatient, this pregnancy thing is old Sis.  Bring on the Bub!  Bring on the Bub! Anyway, let’s talk about … Continue reading I could write instruction manuals on how to be excessively trite, insensitive, hackneyed and flippant.

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1995, Letters from J, Letters to S

My brother, my birthing cheerleader.

Friday, 26 May 1995, 10:42am Wow.  I’ve just realized how soon you’re going to be having your baby.  The proximity of it hit me last night.  It’s like seven days away.  Wow.  I will have to send this today or it wont make it in time.  I really hope you’ve decided on a name for it Sis.  Call me old fashioned, but I think a … Continue reading My brother, my birthing cheerleader.

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