J’s Diary Entry
Sunday 7 May, 1995
Spent the day washing clothes and reading. Finished off that Chopper Read book. Almost poignant at the end. I told Leah she could stay another week – she was packing everything up after yesterday’s foul mood. It’s good, I can use the money.
I’ve decided to get my licence – for real this time. I have goals in mind now. I’ll go for an automatic licence so I’m sure not to fail. It’s the first step in a chain of events I want to set into place. With a car, I’ll be able to attend night classes in languages and computers. Computers is where I really want to expand my knowledge, I’d love to be able to program and to fix fuck-ups at work. To customize the system for myself, put in safe-guards and booby-traps even – make myself indispensable. A crooked ambition, to be sure, but an ambition nonetheless.
With a car, I could also join a gym and go when it’s nearly empty. I could shop so much more easily, I could even visit people and get things repaired, go shopping in big hardware places because I could put big stuff in my car! I feel silly, but this is exciting to me – independence!