J’s Diary Entry

Sunday 7 May, 1995

Spent the day washing clothes and reading.  Finished off that Chopper Read book.  Almost poignant at the end.  I told Leah she could stay another week – she was packing everything up after yesterday’s foul mood.  It’s good, I can use the money.

I’ve decided to get my licence – for real this time.  I have goals in mind now.  I’ll go for an automatic licence so I’m sure not to fail.  It’s the first step in a chain of events I want to set into place.  With a car, I’ll be able to attend night classes in languages and computers.  Computers is where I really want to expand my knowledge, I’d love to be able to program and to fix fuck-ups at work.  To customize the system for myself, put in safe-guards and booby-traps even – make myself indispensable.  A crooked ambition, to be sure, but an ambition nonetheless.

With a car, I could also join a gym and go when it’s nearly empty.  I could shop so much more easily, I could even visit people and get things repaired, go shopping in big hardware places because I could put big stuff in my car!  I feel silly, but this is exciting to me – independence!