Category: Letters from J
J’s Get out of Christmas letter to Grandparents.
December 1994 Dear Nana and Pop, Merry Christmas. Sorry about typing this letter, it seems a little impersonal, but I’m so used to typing at work that my hand writing is almost unreadable these days. I’m sorry I can’t be there with everyone for Christmas, I’ve got this camping trip planned with some friends up near the Murray River. There’s this festival sort of thing … Continue reading J’s Get out of Christmas letter to Grandparents.
We sat around listening to CD’s drinking Kahlua, being urbane and bitchy.
6 December 1994 Dear S, This may be the last letter you receive from me. The expedition is not going well. My compatriots are fading badly, it’s the heat you see. Today the mercury has risen to 38˚, yesterday it peaked at 40˚. There is no respite for any of us. I fear we shall all perish. We’ve already eaten three of the camels, and the … Continue reading We sat around listening to CD’s drinking Kahlua, being urbane and bitchy.
People with names like “Coral” and “Amber” are the sort of people who swallow their own toothpaste.
31 Oct 1994 Dear S, Well, here is the first post-pregnancy announcement letter. So how are you? Pregnant? I’m trying to imaging you in 7 month’s time when you’ll be in full bloom. You’ll be as wide as you are high, and looking non-the-worse for it I’ll bet. What sort of state is the maternity wear industry in over there in the UK? Personally, I … Continue reading People with names like “Coral” and “Amber” are the sort of people who swallow their own toothpaste.
I’m learning how to use a new system called Microsoft Word, pretty exciting to an old WordStar hack like me.
6 Oct 1994 Dear S, You may notice some layout changes with this letter. That’s because I’m fooling around in Microsoft Word it’s pretty exciting to an old WordStar hack like me. So exciting in fact, that I think it’s time to CHANGE THE FONT SIZE!!! oooh think I’m going to like it. Had a chat with Caitlin at work about conditions here and all that … Continue reading I’m learning how to use a new system called Microsoft Word, pretty exciting to an old WordStar hack like me.
Nothing works around here, especially me.
Tuesday, 27 September 1994 Dear S, I thought I’d write a letter, the weather here at the moment recalls my mind to Old Blighty, and I thought I should post off this Cleo to you. I know you wont have your birthday present yet, and you must be getting toey as to whether it will come at all, or if it even exists, so I … Continue reading Nothing works around here, especially me.
My social life is about as exciting as a Methodist cake-stall.
Thursday, 1 September 1994 Dear Sis, How’s the birthday girl? Mum tells me you’re jetting off to Spain for an el cheapo face lift to halt the inevitable march of Father Time. How old are you now anyway? It doesn’t matter, you being five years older than me and all. I would gladly give the flower of my youth in exchange for all the arcane … Continue reading My social life is about as exciting as a Methodist cake-stall.
You can’t call anyone fat, or stupid, or ugly – even if they are.
Friday, 26 August 1994 Dear S, Hi, just a quick note to send with these Cleo magazines. Sorry I haven’t written for a while, it’s been brown trousers time at work and I’ve been putting in unpaid overtime again. Also there’s a new guy in despatch called Mick, and he’s a bit of a puppet of one of the directors, and I’m not too sure … Continue reading You can’t call anyone fat, or stupid, or ugly – even if they are.
I’m too level-headed for my old friends, but too freakish for others. Maybe I’m just a second-rate Nihilist.
Tuesday, 5 July 1994 Hi S, I thought it was about time I put fingertip to keyboard and pounded out a missive to Sis in my staccato touch-typing blur. How you doing? I should, here at the outset, just say thanks for the super wax letter sealing set. Completely super present. I don’t have much in the way of gossip, I’ve been leading a life … Continue reading I’m too level-headed for my old friends, but too freakish for others. Maybe I’m just a second-rate Nihilist.
If I don’t get my quota of salt in by sundown I’ll lose my clothing privileges and have to work naked again.
6 Jun 1994 Dear S et all (from the Latin “et alii”, everyone ought to know that.), How’s it goin’? I’m sorry to have been so lax in the letter writing department, but it’s actually been rather hectic lately. I have to get through a certain amount each day, and so far it’s been taking me all day, which I am none-too-pleased about. How dare … Continue reading If I don’t get my quota of salt in by sundown I’ll lose my clothing privileges and have to work naked again.
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