Friday, 31 March, 1995 8:43am

Dear S,

I’m not happy. I just finished my Jean Genet book last night.  Now I have nothing to read.  It’s absolutely essential for me to have something to read on the tram on the way to and from work.  Not for any lofty purpose of improving my mind or anything, it’s just a good way to dodge buying a ticket.  If you’re reading a book, the conductor never bothers you for a ticket. It’s great, it must have saved me hundreds of dollars, and that fills me with glee.  Are you reading anything these days?  Have you read any of those pregnancy manuals?  The whole Lamaze thing?  Have you got a copy of Dr Spock on the bookshelf?  Maybe they (I don’t know who “they” are, maybe the government or something) should make people take some sort of class or course of study before they can breed.  Personally, I’ve always thought the human race would be much better off if we only bred in season.  You know, if we came on heat, kinda like cats and dogs.  It would give it a carnival kind of atmosphere, like in the days of old with the Beltane fires, the Maypole and all that.  There would be fewer of us too, which could only be a blessing.  I firmly believe there are too many people on the globe.  One only has to watch a TV talent quest show to know that. All those people should be shot shouldn’t they. You know, magicians, clowns, acrobats.  Freaks, the whole bunch of ’em.

Monday, 3 April, 1995 9:43am

New Week. Dull weekend.  The only thing which interests me at the moment is this Aum Supreme Truth Sect in Japan.  You know, the ones they’re blaming for that Sarin nerve-gas attack on the subway about a month ago.  Now that is good, juicy news.  Personally, I think the Japanese government is behind it.  They’re using it as a smoke screen to distract the people’s attention from the shoddy reaction to the Kobe earthquake and the ensuing economic problems.  Besides, it’s not like Japan hasn’t got a few thousand people to spare, what’s a few drones on their way to work in the grand scheme of things?  It’s a great story, I’ve been following it closely.  I can’t wait for the mini-series.  Just the other day, some senior policeman on the case was shot by some masked assassin telling him to lay off the sect.  But the really good part is, this masked assassin made his getaway on a bicycle!!  That’s right, there was no high-speed chase through the dingy back streets of Tokyo, no cops hanging out of Corvettes firing great chrome handguns at the assailant as he careens wildly across the tarmac, just some guy on a push-bike with an AK47 and a balaclava.  That amuses me greatly.  I mean here it is, Japan – the home of technology, the future of society. You’d expect him to jet off on a rocket backpack or something. Assassinations are incomplete without the throaty roar of an eight cylinder get-away car.  It just doesn’t seem real.  And while I’m at it, what sort of name is Sarin for a deadly nerve gas?  It sounds too nice, it should be called something like “Necros”, Bioschreck”. Sarin sounds like a soy bean derivative.

I read in the paper that another one of your upper class twits has developed anorexia nervosa and is blaming it on the tabloids, or her husband is anyway.  I had an intuitive flash the other day about this very prickly subject of eating disorders, and I think I’ve come up with a revolutionary idea to deal with it.  Let the fucker starve.  Who’s going to miss another English aristocrat?  It’s not like there’s a great shortage of rich English people with hyphenated names living off the civil list.  You’d think that she was doing a public service, eating less food and using up less of the taxpayers’ hard-earned dosh.  Hell, you should be encouraging this sort of thing amongst the titled, not sticking them in looney bins and saying “Go on dear, have another piece of cake, there’s a good girl.”  Up the tabloids, I say.  They’re leading the way.  I think you should let all the aristocracy starve and put in place some family what are on a bit more of an even keel. Like the Manson Family, they’re very close you know.  Or how ’bout the “Brady Bunch”, or maybe the entire cast of “Neighbours”.

Anyway, I’d better go Sis, before I incur some sort of libel suit.

Love J