Category: Letters from J

1992, Letters from J, Letters to S

Back when we used videos and we had to finish a roll of film before we could see the photos.

Thursday, 22 October 1992 Howdy Sis, Sorry I haven’t written in so long, but I’ve been on holidays while Mum was over there with you and I haven’t had access to a keyboard, and I’m so damn lazy these days that I really can’t write letters by hand any more.  So how was Mum?  She got back here last night and she seems so much … Continue reading Back when we used videos and we had to finish a roll of film before we could see the photos.

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1992, Letters from J, Letters to S

With love from Hellfire Club Member Number 52.

DON’T SHOW THIS TO MUM.  IT CONTAINS COARSE LANGUAGE, ADULT CONCEPTS AND SOME LOW LEVEL VIOLENCE, IT IS NOT SUITABLE FOR PARENTS. SIBLING DISCRETION IS STRONGLY ADVISED. 14 September 1992 Hullo, Yet one more dull lunchtime.  So tell me something thrilling.  About the Royals, they’ll do.  Only kidding, I mean didn’t anyone think that poor Fergie had nipples?  What’s the big deal man? I went … Continue reading With love from Hellfire Club Member Number 52.

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1992, Letters from J, Letters to S, Our Troublesome Father

My Book of Life – no platitudes or clichés here.

Monday, 24 August 1992 Dear Sis, Yet another boring lunchtime, nowhere to go, nothing to do, well nothing inexpensive anyway.  How goes it in the Great Land of the Unwashed?  Mum told me you and Jack are buying a house and maybe renting it out.  Good move Big Sis, I can see you beating down the door and smacking some pensioner over the head, screaming … Continue reading My Book of Life – no platitudes or clichés here.

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1992, Letters from J, Letters to S

It’s not my party, but I’m still gonna cry about it.

Tuesday, 18 August 1992 Hey Sis, Your second letter in two days! It’s just that I only get half an hour for lunch so by the time I actually get anywhere it’s always time to come back so I figured I’d start another letter, it burns time. It’s Mara’s 21st party thingy on Saturday night, something I’m not looking forward to. Ma says it’s formal … Continue reading It’s not my party, but I’m still gonna cry about it.

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1992, Letters from J, Letters to S

Potato Cakes & Vodka

7 August, 1992 Howdy Sis, How you going? I’m at work and I’m hung-over as hell and I just can’t face having to speak to business knobs’ secretaries with all the charisma of lobotomized Alsatians, so I thought I’d write a long overdue letter to my Sis. Watcha been doin’? I went out last night with Donovan (remember him? the tall one with all the hair) … Continue reading Potato Cakes & Vodka

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1991, Letters from J, Letters to S

Caught smoking “Geraniums” by Mum and Dad.

Friday, 1 November 1991  8:14pm Dear Jewel of My Universe, Howe bee youe?  You’re letter was fulle of ye olde Englishe slange so I assume ye transition to the land of Pomp and Splendour is complete, ande yae verily have I adjusted my texte soe ye wille bee ablee to reade ite. Haaah! funny eh?  How are you?  I just had a letter telling me … Continue reading Caught smoking “Geraniums” by Mum and Dad.

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1991, Letters from J, Letters to S

I am now an employed man – my first job.

3 August, 1991  12.17am Hi-de-ho to you Sis, How goes it Ms S? You’re darned lucky to be hearing from me, you know.  I am a busy man.  An EMPLOYED man.  A corporate assassin, climbing the treacherous ladder to success, crushing, the dreams and spirits of my underlings underfoot as I claw my way to the zenith of the publishing world, where I will bask … Continue reading I am now an employed man – my first job.

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1991, Letters from J, Letters to S

Unemployment is quite respectable in a recession you know.

Wednesday, 12 June 1991 Hello Sis, You’d better appreciate this punk, it’s the first time I’ve actually had to write anything for over six months.  I quit College in about March and have since been enduring the rigours of unemployment.  Now don’t cuss and swear, unemployment is quite respectable in a recession you know.  I think it’s about 10% now.  Life is dull without you … Continue reading Unemployment is quite respectable in a recession you know.

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