From:   'S'
Date:    Monday, March 11, 2002 08:37PM
To:     'J'
Subject: Depilation Fixation

J, in the back of my mind I remember you looking into lasering or tasering your hair off. I want my underarms done.  If I recall you had a test patch done or something, was it any good, did it  hurt, how long did it take and all that?

Let me know.

Love you.

S

From:   'J'
Date:    Monday, 11 March 2002 10:35PM
To:     'S'
Subject: Depilation Fixation

It was wildly expensive and it didn’t work at all. But that was six or seven years ago and it’s probably improved by now. It was pretty quick, and didn’t really hurt. Stung a little, and I mean a little.

If I were you, I’d go for a combination of techniques – get lasered, then rub that hair retardation (I love that word) spray on it. Have you ever had electrolysis done? How painful is that? I’m just asking out of curiousity  – I’m over my depilation fixation. When you come to understand that no-one is ever going to get to see anything anyway, you become a lot more accepting of the hideous monstrosity of a bloated narwhal-body that God has blessed you with.

Sorry for not replying yesterday – it was Labour Day weekend here. I didn’t do anything, wasn’t feeling very sociable, oddly enough. I did burn two mini discs from approximately 12 hours of “Rage” video tapes. I have square-eyes. It’s an odd mix, but that’s what I like about it. Missy Elliot, Eskimo Joe (Australian band, a bit crap but this song “Liar” is quite sweet), The White Stripes (“Fell in Love with a Girl” – American brother/sister act, just drums and a guitar), Black Rebel Motorcycle  Club (American/English, not quite sure how to describe them), Dan Brodie and the Broken Arrows (Australian alt-country), Cornershop (I just liked the title: “Lessons Learned from Rocky I to Rocky Ill”), Alex Lloyd (Australian balladeer), Ami Stewart (an absolutely  hysterical version  of  the Doors’ Light My Fire” – she’s the one who did “Knock on Wood”), Andrew WK (heavy metal – or is it?), Spiderbait (pop metal), International Noise Conspiracy (Communist rantings – their song is called “Capitalism Stole My Virginity”), Britney Spears (After a song called “Capitalism Stole My Virginity”, I had to have a Britney song), AC/DC (“Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap”), and New Order (“Crystal”). Phew.

Hey – how’s the read-a-thon going?

J