Letter from Barry whilst still on holidays in Australia, to S in the UK with J.

11 January, 1998

S,

I love you and want to spend my life with you – simple as that – I miss you terribly – the phone calls and emails are contact but I need your physical presence – I need to see you, smell you – I need to be touched by you.

I need to see the sparkle in your eyes and embrace you.  I am lost here but am finding my way, you make me feel happy and comfortable and content, relaxed and alive.  We need to see this relationship as it truly is – the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. I get depressed, more melancholic sometimes and you can pull me out of those with a single look – I want to do that for you too – you know what’s going on in my head, sometimes better than me.  You can paint the emotional picture with words, I can’t write, I can’t express, I’m a fucking programmer after all, but something about you makes me remember stuff – and realise stuff – like I said my heart remembers the sentiment and my head remembers the words – how can that be?

I’ve never felt this before, never felt this relaxed, this natural before, nothing is a chore, everything is a pleasure, there are no hidden agendas and no brownie points to score, everything is done because I want to do it, we are an extension of me. Does that make sense?

I love you S.

Barry xxx

a hug for Brady xo