It’s not my party, but I’m still gonna cry about it.

Tuesday, 18 August 1992 Hey Sis, Your second letter in two days! It’s just that I only get half an hour for lunch so by the time I actually get anywhere it’s always time to come back so I figured I’d start another letter, it burns time. It’s Mara’s 21st party thingy on Saturday night, something I’m not looking forward to. Ma says it’s formal … Continue reading It’s not my party, but I’m still gonna cry about it.

My Book of Life – no platitudes or clichés here.

Monday, 24 August 1992 Dear Sis, Yet another boring lunchtime, nowhere to go, nothing to do, well nothing inexpensive anyway.  How goes it in the Great Land of the Unwashed?  Mum told me you and Jack are buying a house and maybe renting it out.  Good move Big Sis, I can see you beating down the door and smacking some pensioner over the head, screaming … Continue reading My Book of Life – no platitudes or clichés here.

Wedding Dress Fittings & Fruit Tree Pruning.

Friday, 11 September 1992 Dear Nana and Pop Sorry this is typed but as usual I am running around in circles. Thank you very much for my birthday card.  With your birthday money I bought a lovely little box of drawers for all my painting equipment, I shall send you a photo, they are really cute.  Jack is pleased because now there are no more … Continue reading Wedding Dress Fittings & Fruit Tree Pruning.

With love from Hellfire Club Member Number 52.

DON’T SHOW THIS TO MUM.  IT CONTAINS COARSE LANGUAGE, ADULT CONCEPTS AND SOME LOW LEVEL VIOLENCE, IT IS NOT SUITABLE FOR PARENTS. SIBLING DISCRETION IS STRONGLY ADVISED. 14 September 1992 Hullo, Yet one more dull lunchtime.  So tell me something thrilling.  About the Royals, they’ll do.  Only kidding, I mean didn’t anyone think that poor Fergie had nipples?  What’s the big deal man? I went … Continue reading With love from Hellfire Club Member Number 52.

Back when we used videos and we had to finish a roll of film before we could see the photos.

Thursday, 22 October 1992 Howdy Sis, Sorry I haven’t written in so long, but I’ve been on holidays while Mum was over there with you and I haven’t had access to a keyboard, and I’m so damn lazy these days that I really can’t write letters by hand any more.  So how was Mum?  She got back here last night and she seems so much … Continue reading Back when we used videos and we had to finish a roll of film before we could see the photos.

Piercings, Pot & Doc Martens

Mon 26 Oct 1992  – Leah got first job in 2 years.  Had a massive fight with Mum over nipple rings – she was in the wrong. Thurs 29 Oct  –  Did Tax Return.  Theresa went for a job interview Sat 31 Oct  –  Black & Bondage Ball at Sarah Sands Hotel – really good until Leah got jealous.  Went back to Brunswick and got … Continue reading Piercings, Pot & Doc Martens

Well there go your teens…

Friday, 20 November 1992 Dear J Do hope you have a beaut birthday on Thursday, well that is goodbye to your teens. Granny is very weak and we don’t think she knows any of us now.  She says odd things and mostly we don’t understand what she is saying.  She only eats an odd spoonful of food, spends most of her time sleeping and often … Continue reading Well there go your teens…

Mum & The Nipple Police

Monday, 23 November 1992 S Baby!  How’s it going? Why haven’t you written you pussy nodule on the anus of humanity? (Like it? I thought of it myself).  I’m on an extremely late and extremely boring lunch break and I thought it was time I typed you a little letter with my machine-gun typing skills. So why haven’t you written?  Were you as completely outraged … Continue reading Mum & The Nipple Police