I have spent nearly three years now blogging my brother’s life, the time has come, I am at the end. It has both helped build a new kind of me and yet at the same time destroyed me all over again.
I want to thank people who have helped and inspired me. I have doubted myself through this whole process. There is so much I have learnt but just don’t have my brothers ability to put it into words, I just can’t come up with an all encapsulating final post. I will just take a deep breath and post til the end.
I want to thank Soulspeak, a special, knowing soul so kind I sometimes believe J whispers to me through her.
Thank you to Tom Slatin for his support, comments, advice, encouragement and for mentioning this blog on his twitter account, Thomas thank you. I can imagine you and J deep in discussion about books and writing. I am grateful that you came across my blog and eternally grateful you have shared it with others (I still don’t really understand how Twitter works.)
Paul Green whose fabulous site mindfump.com inspires me and makes me laugh. J would love his writing, I imagine us discussing it when I read it. Keep writing Paul, I miss you when you don’t and I’m looking forward to your Oscar’s after party.
Jamie Scanlan whose wise insights inspire me, particularly when I struggled at the start with what I was doing, where I was heading with this blog, what I was trying to achieve.
Thank you wholeheartedly to all you kind people who have read, followed and commented. I still remember being exciting hitting 100 followers, and I still chat out loud telling J when 20 or more people visit in a day! I tip my hat to all the blog writers out there with thousands of followers, it is a tremendous feat you have achieved. But as Paul Green eloquently states “the mental starting point for blogging should be one of love” and this blog has always been about my love for my brother, his search for love, his love of reading and writing (not stats and likes).
Anyway here we go… Am I ready? Am I ready to share with the world my brother’s final hours, his final letter. I don’t know how to do it other than just hit the publish button. I kindly ask people to double check with themselves – if they really wish to read his final letter and subsequent coroner’s report.
I am grateful, I am sad. I am still and always will be, sister of J.